They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, here is one invention I just needed to share with all of you regular marriagememoir readers. You are in on the ground floor. There is no charge, and this idea could save you thousands of dollars a year.
If you are one of the millions of avid northern golfers who feel you must travel to Myrtle Beach, Georgia, or Florida each winter to get your fix, I have great news. I have invented a great new game you can play right where you live. I call it Snolf, which is short for snow golf.
All you will need is your favorite iron (I prefer my six iron), a dozen or so balls, a small gardening spade, and a snow/what snow, attitude. You simply go to your favorite golf course, put your ball gently on top of the snow in the tee area, and have at it. Watch carefully where the ball enters the snow, walk up to the spot, and dig up your ball. It helps if you find the entry point (be careful not to disturb burrowing rodents). Replace it on the top of the snow for your second swing, and continue until you hit the green. From there you count your score and move on to the next hole. There is none of that annoying putting involved. Since the ball doesn’t travel as well in the cold, you simply triple the normal par to see how you are doing. Also, I have decided that there is no penalty for a lost ball, as you will lose some, guaranteed. The game is over when you either finish the course or have run out of balls.
Snolfers will appreciate the many advantages over regular golf. For one the game is free, since there is nobody at the course in the winter to collect your greens fee. You can also play at your own pace, since the course will most likely be significantly less crowded. Trudging through the snow will also help your cardiovascular system. Replacing your divots while recommended, is not required. Also, most courses are extremely beautiful, and vastly underappreciated in the winter.
In all fairness, the few possible negatives should probably be noted. First, extra clothing, which you might be inclined to wear, could inhibit your swing or your ability to hang onto your club. Second, (my lawyer insists I add this) you could, potentially, be arrested for trespassing. And last, but not least, its freaking cold out there!!!
Disclaimer: While I have not, as of today played Snoft, I would love to hear, and gladly share, the stories from your first round.
