June was a big month for us. We were visited by both of our older daughters and their families. Michelle, her husband Alex and their four progenies, all nine and under, were first to visit. There are three wonderful girls (9,7, and 1 years old) and a three-year-old boy, Eliot. Eliot was by far the greatest opportunity. He viewed the fences as mere suggestions and could scale to the top of the swing set before you could say no. His father and I mistakenly took him and his two older sisters bowling. He wanted every turn and when he couldn’t wait, threw a ball down another lane. The lane wasn’t on, so we lost that ball. On the positive side, his sisters are used to him and really enjoyed their first-time bowling. However, apparently, even after yelling at him a time or two, I am still one of Eliot’s favorite people.
On another day we took a trip to the zoo. That went very well. Apparently, an outdoor environment is more suitable than the indoor confinement of a bowling alley.
We did have some nice meals. Alex shares my affinity for cooking. Although, he is ahead of me in grilling. He cooked some wonderful steaks and helped me with my new smoker.
I could tell that Michelle and Alex are doing a great job with all of their children, including homeschooling the older ones. All of the kids seem quite bright. However, good parenting comes at a cost. They wake up early in the morning and are on constant vigilance alert. I’m certain they will turn out at least three or possibly four great adults (a parent’s main job). However, I wouldn’t be surprised if I outlive both parents. Stress kills. I will cry at the funeral, but I’m sure Ren (oldest child, 9) will give a great eulogy.
Then there was Liz (Elizabeth) and Brad. Their children, mercifully, are older. While her youngest, Addy (Addeline, 9) is a somewhat demanding serial talker, the challenges were not even close to those of Michelle’s young family. The Bradyn, 18, even brought his girlfriend, Katie. Their family slept late (which I appreciated) and were usually quite independent. They visited the Mall of America several times without us. Some activities we shared include playing cornhole, badminton, other games and going on a 2-and-a-half-hour canoe trip. The trip served as a reminder that I’m not as young as I used to be. Liz and I took turns cooking some nice meals. The older kids were very helpful and I never had to ask twice for help.
Now that I’ve had a little time to reflect, I realize a few timeless truths. First, you can never go back again (not that I would ever want to). I’ve long since forgotten the time, energy, and monetary commitments required to raise children. Second, as I watch my children navigating the moment-by-moment variety of decisions required, I realized that they learned their lessons well. Crystal and I, by design or by example taught them survival skills. They learned what to do and occasionally what not to do. Third, as I observe my two eldest and their hubbies use vastly different approaches to child rearing, I realize there is no single right way. Because of or in spite of parenting choices, I believe all nine grandkids are doing well. Also, no matter what your approach, someone will tell you, that ‘you are doing it wrong.’ If you are present, teach them right from wrong, and keep them safe until they are ready to go out on their own, you are a good parent.
I thank God almost daily for our wonderful family and pray for our children and grandchildren. I’m so very glad we decided many years ago to have our three girls. I’m also sooo very glad we don’t have to go through it again.
