Ron, Author at Marriage Memoir by Ron and Crystal Meinstein

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Pets, Pests and Mimi

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

November was a busy month. We celebrated my dad’s 95^th birthday (still doing well), saw Crystal’s dad in Cincinnati (not doing great but still inspirational) , and then, of course there was Thanksgiving. With all of that family time it just helps to reinforce all we have to be thankful for. There is nothing like family. When I think of my family, growing up, I can’t help but focus on my mom.

Mimi (my mom) had a rough life as a child growing up in Germany. Her family was extremely poor, her father absurdly abusive, not to mention WW2. I think all of that contributed to how she spoiled me. Oh, there were times when I pushed the limit, and she would get out the little wooden spoon of discipline. I know it hurt her more than me. I tried to not push my freedom for her sake.

For the most part, I had a great amount of freedom as long as she knew where I would be. Most of the time, I was out with friends, playing some type of game or sport. Other times, I would go for a “bike ride” around the neighborhood. To me, that was code for exploring. Occasionally, I would bring back some type of souvenir. They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Well, I found a lot of treasures. I had a storage area in the basement full of them. There were some tools, broken toys, old motors, etc. I liked to take things apart and see how they worked.

Every now and then, something more animated would grab my attention. Mimi never knew that one of my favorite games was knocking down wasp nests with a long stick. The trick is, you have to get them with a single swipe, or they will be all over you. Then, run fast and far!

I also liked to watch bee hives and ant hills. They are fascinating if you don’t get too close. Of course, Mimi never knew about those little adventures. It was the critters I decided to make pets that involved her. She just couldn’t say no to her Ronny; and somehow always wound up taking care of my conquests. She was terrified of snakes, but for almost a year, she would feed my pet garter snake. I could hear her talking to it every day during its milk bath. Don’t ask. One day I was playing with him outside and the rotten thing got away. Sometimes a snake just doesn’t know how good he has it.

I also brought home turtles and Cray fish. I once caught a frog. It tried to escape down a storm drain. When I returned home, Mimi had a fit about both the frog and my clothes. She took care of it for about three months until it escaped into the basement. I couldn’t find it anywhere. About a week later. he came out. Unfortunately, he was too dehydrated and didn’t make it very long. Mimi consoled me, but I could tell she was relieved.

For about half a year (more than double their normal lifespan), I kept a large green grasshopper. We fed it lettuce and apple. When I left the house, I tied a thread around its neck with the other end attached to my shirt button. Unfortunately, my new pet was banned from my school. I never understood that. The other kids had no problem with it. Even some of the girls petted it. For years, every time I went for a haircut, my barber would remind me and the other barbers with a laugh.

I believe it was the summer of 1964 when we went on the ultimate vacation. I was ten years old. After driving forever (about ten hours for a ten year old) we arrived somewhere close to Bemidji, Minnesota. Dad had served inWW2 and was proud of his camping skills. We spent the night at a camp site, in a tent. I was so excited. The next morning dad and I went for an exploratory hike. I think mom was trying to see how much dirt she could sweep until the campsite was clean. All of a sudden, a large black snake (I would guess seven to ten feet), apparently unaware of our presence, slithered across our path. I reacted appropriately. Immediately, with the reflexes of a Ninja, I darted behind my dad and said,” catch it dad!” He just stood there while my pet got away. I have since gotten over it.

Later that day, I had a chance to make up for our failure with the snake. I came across a stream which was lousy with crayfish. I spent the better part of the afternoon turning over rocks and hunting my quarry. At final count, there were easily a dozen new pets in my bucket. I was so proud. I would not come home from my adventure in the north woods empty handed. That night, however, as I was dreaming of my stories of victory for the neighborhood, we were awakened by a rustling. Mom immediately thought bear, and grabbed me as I rushed toward the tent flap. Dad and I then looked out. It was raccoons, two big ones and three or four little ones. They were heading away from my bucket and back into the woods. You guessed it: instead of pets all I had accomplished that day was to create a dinner buffet for some raccoons. Someday, with God’s help, I will get over that too.

The only picture I could find with mom and a critter. Note the fear in her eyes. She really loved me.

Category: Animals and Pets

Wedding Surprise!

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

Today’s topic is wedding surprise. There were a lot of things which didn’t surprise me at my daughter Michelle’s wedding, earlier this month. First and foremost, was the wedding itself. Michelle and Alex have been together for a long time so the wedding surprised no-one. Alex actually asked for my permission. Trust me, no one does that without being certain, I mean death and taxes certain, they were getting married. I asked my father-in-law while he was cleaning his gun (kidding).

The wedding was great. No surprise there, Michelle and Alex are both great planners. There was a short, but meaningful ceremony followed by really excellent food (even a carving station). My dad, who has eaten in some of America’s best restaurants, was really impressed with the prime rib. After dinner there was good music, toasts, dancing, and games. They even allowed me to pray before the meal. That meant a lot to me.

I believe I was one of the few, including my wife, who was not at all surprised when the bride and two bride’s maids (our other two daughters) were the last contestants in the game of musical chairs (out of eleven). Other contestants didn’t stand a chance. Competitive nature was not a rarity in our household. I once thought there might be bloodshed over a game of monopoly. And if I ever have to listen to another debate about who the best softball player was, I just might hit myself with a bat. Unfortunately, I taught them all how to play, and was at many of their games. When the debates begin, I’ve learned to smile and nod (better than duck and cover). I haven’t always been so wise. At one point, a long, long time ago, I thought the right thing was to give my honest opinion. My wife and three daughters quickly taught me that the only acceptable response to such queries is one of unconditional love or no response. Girls are actually OK with a non-responsive dad, as they seem to have no trouble continuing a conversation in perpetuity (with or without my input).

My big wedding surprise came at the discretion of the wedding DJ. He decided to play the little anniversary game. You know the one. First you get all of the married couples on the dance floor dancing. Then you start to eliminate them based on time served, or rather time married. First, everyone who has been married less than one full day may be seated. Of course that eliminated Michelle and Alex. Then he went to one year, five years, and then ten years. At that point my oldest Liz and her husband Brad were seated. The game continued and I was anxious to find out which of the older couples would be left once we were eliminated. To my extreme surprise, when the DJ got to thirty-five years, Crystal’s brother Larry and his wife Linda left. Crystal and I were alone on the dance floor…….I was shocked…….When did we become the old married couple? I masked my amazement by spinning Crystal a couple of times. I was trying to subliminally communicate with everyone there that we were still young. I’m sure they could all see that.

Since that day, I’ve had a little more time to reflect. This was a rather small reception of only about fifty people. Our thirty-seven years really wasn’t that much. After all, my knees and hip stopped being sore some time the next day. That doesn’t make me old, does it? Of course not! I have already figured out the solution. Whenever it’s Lisa’s turn to get married I’ll just have to help out with the guest list. Crystal and I know some older married couples who would love to attend a wedding. Problem solved! The moral of this story is that satisfaction in marriage, and for that matter in life, is all a matter of perspective…and occasionally, strategic denial.

The happy couple.

This is just before the last irrelevant contestant is eliminated.

Category: About Marriage and Family

Marriage and Kids

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

Marriage doesn’t necessarily mean having children. However, if you choose to not have kids, you don’t know what you are missing……or maybe you do. Children are a blessing from God. However, the decision to bring them into the world should never be taken lightly. They can bring great joy and at times great anxiety and stress. As with everything in marriage (we are in this post assuming marriage before children), raising children works best when a couple is in constant communication and works together.

The subject of raising children seems extremely appropriate today. In the near future, our middle child, Michelle, is planning on marrying her fiancé Alex. While she will no doubt yell at me for picking her as an example, the great thing about blogging is that I don’t have to ask her permission before posting. I know; I am being evil. She just turned thirty; she can take it. She will probably also yell at me for telling her age.

Honestly, I am kidding. Michelle won’t be upset at all (or only a little) by this post. You see, I know her pretty well. Good parents do get to know their children over time. Michelle is a strong, smart well adjusted young woman. She is currently working toward becoming what Crystal and I always felt she should be, a teacher. Her patience, aptitude and love of children will make her an ideal teacher for young children.

Personality has a lot to do with her decision, but let me take a moment to reflect on why she is ready to make important life choices. I believe that the major responsibilities of parents is not raising children but preparing children to become adults. When children come into the world, they are totally dependent on their parents. When they leave the home, they need to be ready to make good decisions and be capable of functioning on their own. Parenting is a process of slowly letting go. You need to give training, and over time, more freedom and more responsibility to your child. That may be difficult at times, because the process also involves discipline and, occasionally, rebellion. However, you must consider what would happen if your child doesn’t learn discipline and respect at home. Life isn’t always as forgiving out in the world as it is in a good home.

I still remember the day I brought Michelle home from the St. Francis Hospital in Blue Island, Illinois. I used my patented football carry. At thirty one years old, I still played a little touch football with friends. I almost never dropped a ball or a baby. That little girl had us from day one. She came out smiling and laughing. Her two and a half year old sister, Liz, couldn’t wait to hold her. It was soooo cute (that’s how they get you). The cute sucks you in and makes you love and care for them.

Of course, it was less cute a few years later when sisters started fighting for supremacy. You know how it goes. ‘Elizabeth poked me!’ ‘Michelle touched my stuff’, etc., etc., etc. Then there are the teenage years when they think they know everything. Basically it’s like watching a roller coaster. They go up and down. One minute they act like a thirty year old, the next like they’re three. It may be a lot of things, but it is definitely no longer cute. That’s parenting.

When she was nine years old in the 4^th grade, we decided to home school Michelle for a year. Crystal did most of the subjects; I got science and phys. ed. I brought a box of science experiments for young people and had fun demonstrating scientific principles. Some wound up being a little over her head, and if they didn’t make noise, flash or change color quickly, she tended to lose interest. However, when she got back in the school system, she did just fine in math and science. So I count that as a win.

As far as phys. ed. goes, we threw balls, ran bases, shot hoops, etc. I even made up an obstacle course on the school playground behind our house. I also had her run a few blocks with me. A few years later, she started to join me on my runs. That kind of became our thing. I had always run a few miles to stay in shape and relieve stress after work. While she was periodically hard to get going, once we started she did fine. She could never quite master her breathing though. The problem was she could never stop talking. Some years later, her younger sister, Lisa, took her place. Lisa had the same breathing problem as her sister. One thing I learned about girls is they never run out of words. While I liked to run to relieve stress, Michelle (and later Lisa) needed to get every thought out of her head. Don’t get me wrong, I did participate. Whenever I could calm a fear or give some direction, I took advantage. That’s also part of parenting.

Today, Elizabeth, who may have been our most rebellious teen, sees things a little differently. With four children of her own, she now asks how we did it. She can talk to her mom for hours, but when something breaks or there are money or health issues she asks, sometimes rather panicky, ‘can I talk to dad.’ Just because a child grows up doesn’t mean your obligation is over.

In a nut shell, that’s parenting! It can put stress on you and your marriage like you won’t believe. We kept them alive (rule #1 on parenting), and did our best to prepare them for life. On the positive side, at times raising children can add a new level of joy and accomplishment to your life, which you can’t understand until it happens. My best and only advice is, make sure your marriage and communications are solid before taking that particular leap. Also pray about it. Once you have them, believe me, you will never stop praying for them.

My Girls

Category: Make Marriage Last

Station Identification

Posted on September 19, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

The term Station Identification probably ages me a bit. It was the term frequently used when live television shows were going to a commercial break. But really, who did they think they were fooling? Everyone knew those words were just code for they were going to try to sell us something. It was time to freshen our beverages or get a snack. When you think about it, what would be the sense of stopping a perfectly good TV show just for the station to be identified? Back then there were only three or four stations and you always knew which one you were watching.

Nowadays, all such pretext has been eliminated. Shows just break at numerous seemingly random times for commercials. Some seem clever the first ten or twenty times you watch, but then just add to the ever growing buzz of meaningless information in your brain. It’s no longer a good idea to get a snack during each commercial break unless you want to end up on “My Six Hundred Pound Life”. Instead, we long ago discovered the wonderful mute button. While I find the silence a refreshing change, Crystal frequently uses the time for one of her own commercials. (television inspires her to talk to me.) She generally has so much information to give that it sometimes spills into the returning program. Fortunately, there is a pause button for that. Oh, sometimes I get to say something too.

No matter how you have adapted, about a third of your viewing time is filled with sales pitches, more if you are watching Dr. Phil or a show where twenty-five men pursue one woman (or as I like to call it “Last Woman on Planet Earth”). By the way, while there are many good suggestions in both our book and on this web site about seeking your lifelong mate, appearing on some dumb reality show wasn’t included (for good reason).

At any rate, all of that has nothing to do with today’s topic. It has been a while since we have given a progress report on “One Hundred Fifty Years of Marriage”. Our roughly 200 page memoir was completed over a year ago. When I say completed, I mean researched, written, rewritten, and reedited about four times. The whole process took the better part of five years. The hardest part wasn’t the interviews or research or even contacting our government for military records (fun with a capital F). It was my typing. Picture Andy Dufresne tunneling out of Shawshank Prison with a small rock hammer (ps. that took 19 years). My next book will be “Two finger, Stare at Keys Typing”. It will have to have a chapter on changing the computer key pad as this typing method is apparently hard on them (I went through two of them).

So where are we now on this project? Crystal and I are in total agreement. We can go no further without some expert direction from our future agent or publisher.

As far as our publication efforts, first we want to assure our ever growing group of discerning, brilliant, and sophisticated blog readers (Yes, You!) that, eventual publication will happen. Self publication is a final option. We still believe that the right agency is our best bet. Crystal has done a great deal of research. We have also completed a rather extensive proposal of over thirty pages. The handful of suitable agents we have contacted, while positive, have other commitments or lack resources. Yet the few comments have been very positive. Some of the agents have been unresponsive (discouraging, but apparently normal).

Another factor, not to be overlooked, is timing. We believe that this work of historical nonfiction is timeless. So there is no rush. While we have no promise to give readers, we continue to research and wait for God’s direction and timing. However, from a practical point of view, this may not be the right time. We currently spend a lot of time with my dad in Columbus, our kids/grandkids and occasionally visit Crystal’s dad in Cincinnati. We also are getting ready for Michelle (#2 daughter) and Alex’s wedding. When the book publication actually occurs, we want to be 100% dedicated to its launch. This could involve travel, book signings, radio interviews, etc.; Oprah will probably want to meet us; then there is the Pulitzer Committee. I may be exaggerating slightly, but you get it.

At any rate, for now we will be patient, continue to do research and wait for time and opportunity. In the meantime, Crystal and I are enjoying working together in putting together a continuing body of quality work in the form of this Web site. We have also been writing articles and trying to get them published. Now that this break for “station identification” has come to an end, we will return to your normal programming.

I have no pictures of station identifications, but sunsets and old barns, I got a million of them.

Category: About our Book and Writing

Discouragement and Encouragement: Crystal’s Corner

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

There are times when I get very discouraged not only about getting the memoir published, but about life in general. Dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and more illnesses is discouraging. There are days when I can barely walk around, I don’t have any energy, and have pain. Then I take the pain killers and that makes me even more tired. CFS causes exhaustion which cannot be helped by resting or taking a nap. Fortunately, I read a lot, write some, make crafts and sew. Some of these activities I do even lying down. I also always feel fortunate that I am a Christian. Nothing can separate us from God’s love and help and also we have a Savior. I have a relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. All three are comforting to me. Also, God leads me and Ron in many ways and we follow.

What encourages me is the beauty of the earth. I go out on our large porch and swing on the swing. There are many birds around which are usually singing and making noise. We have starlings, robins, sparrows, doves, and even hummingbirds. A humming bird comes to our petunias hanging on our porch. Sometimes I see it from the living room. I also am very very creative. I am making original origami designs: birds, flowers and more. I am considering doing a book or at least a magazine article. I make 3D cards, beaded hangings and more items using origami figures.
Right now I am sewing a purple satin dress for Lisa for Michelle’s wedding. It is a challenge, but I enjoy sewing and so far my sewing machine and I are friends. I am also working on a dress and possibly jacket for myself. I have also been making some clothes for myself from some of my mom’s clothing. My mom made many of her dresses, blouses and skirts. I am redesigning some of them so I can wear them. The fabric is still very nice so I can use it in my clothing and/or quilts.

I get great satisfaction making crafts and also baking occasionally. I am also de-cluttering. I am going through bags of mail, magazines, books, etc that have accumulated around the house. It is like going back in time. Most of it, I am recycling, but I am finding letters, cards, designs, and some money. It takes time and is tedious, but I am making a difference.

Ron and I help each other not to be discouraged. Usually when one of us is down, the other one is up and can help. We also laugh everyday so that helps. I have been reading three books by the same author. They are Jesus Lives, Jesus Calling and Jesus Today. They are devotional books with Bible verses. You can read one or more a day. The author has written about her life and her Christian walk in the beginning of each book. These writings are very powerful. She is a gifted writer. We also like Daily Guideposts and Guideposts Magazine as well.

I also like to watch funny TV shows and movies. I especially like Doris Day movies and Meg Ryan movies like You’ve Got Mail. I watch meTV because they show That Girl, Carol Burnett shows, Love Boat and other good shows from the past. I remember watching these shows with Mom and Jeannette when we were growing up. They are good memories. I am including some Bible verses with this blog that are encouraging also.

Isaiah 41: 10 So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all you anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Ron’s Perspective

I believe discouragement is part of life. No one lives a happy life only happy moments. As Crystal vaguely points out, what you focus on gets bigger. She doesn’t spend her days saying woe is me. She does what she can, and does it well. She is seldom discouraged for any length of time. Neither am I.

In our marriage, Crystal plays the flower and I am the bee. Even though retired, I seldom stay in one place, but am constantly busy. I could complain about doing more work around the house, running errands, or the stress continually making and breaking plans based on Crystal’s health. Instead, for the most part (believe me, not always), I am grateful that God has put us together and made me the healthy one. I don’t really mind taking care of Crystal because I am the lucky one. Besides, marriage isn’t about keeping score, it’s about helping each other.

Yesterday we took a three hundred mile round trip to a national quilt exhibit at the Dairy Barn (no cows, just a name) in Athens, Ohio. It is an art quilt show called Quilt National which happens every other year and Crystal, as an art quilter, wanted to see it. She enjoyed the show and I drove around exploring and taking pictures. We stopped at a new Mexican restaurant on the way home and talked about various topics on the trip. It was a great day.

Another source of encouragement which could otherwise discourage us is our book. It is really very good. Someday, in God’s time, it will be published. Our next post will be the 87^th on this web site. It is an update on our progress. Until then remember, how you feel about your life depends on what you focus on. As much as possible, focus on the positive. Also, each day, go out of your way to help encourage someone else.

This is the roof of the Dairy Barn. I just thought it was interesting.

Category: Wisdom and Encouragement

Climbing

Posted on August 23, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

The other day I was with my dad on the bank of the Scioto River watching the boats. He had a place to sit. I went to climb on some large rocks by the river. I didn’t say anything, but I almost fell into the river while trying to sit. While that might have been amusing (America’s Funniest style) it made me remember a few even funnier things about my youth.

Two things I was an absolute natural at growing up, were swimming and climbing. I was quite young when I decided I didn’t want to stay in the shallow end of the pool anymore. I sat by the edge of the pool and watched someone doing the crawl. She obviously knew what she was doing. I watched her hands and then her feet. I watched how she turned her head for air. Then I got in the water and just did the same thing. I wasn’t perfect at first, but in a few minutes, I could swim the width of the pool. Mom’s jar dropped as she watched. She couldn’t believe it. I later took lessons, but that was just for fun.

The second thing I took to almost as soon as I could walk was climbing. If mom were alive, she could tell you when I fist conquered the coffee table. I can’t remember. The first experience I remember was when I figured out how to turn kitchen drawers into steps. With the aid of the toaster I was on top of the refrigerator. Mom’s reaction was classic, the expression of horror (which I lived for), a few words in German, and a rush to my rescue.

When I was eleven, mom and I went to Europe for six weeks. While in Austria, I got the idea of mountain climbing. Mom reluctantly agreed. She picked a relatively safe well traveled peek with a well maintained trail to the top. It was during that hike that I first realized that mom was getting old. While she was in relatively good shape for a forty-one year old, she couldn’t keep up with my young legs. I was continuously outdistancing her and waiting. We would talk for a while and then I would again jog ahead. I was excited and couldn’t wait to see the next overlook or see what lay ahead. Finally I reached the end of the trail. Mom was nowhere in sight. However, there were another hundred feet of slightly angled rock cliff to the very peak. Excited, I began climbing. I was about at the half way point when the relative silence was broken by mom’s scream. She ordered me down immediately. I pleaded, but she would not relent. This was the first time I had looked down. All of a sudden I was aware of how high I was. It took three times as long to get down as the climb took. I now know why a cat gets stuck in a tree. After a brief lecture, we both enjoyed the view and rested before the trip down.

Then there were the trees. From the first time I found an easy climb tree (one with a lot of low branches) I was hooked. The world looks so much different from 20, 30 even 40 feet up. You start to see things from a different perspective. The world seems like a different place. Even as a child you start to realize, how did Einstein put it, everything is relative. From the top of the apple tree in our back yard, I could see the roof tops of over thirty houses, plus my grade school (yuck), plus my favorite baseball field (yeah!). My average sized mom (5’3”) looked tiny, as did all of my earthbound problems. From his point of view, God must laugh at how serious we take ourselves.

I used tree climbing to my advantage whenever I could. In scouts, I would climb a tree when lost to figure out which way to go. In college, I would demonstrate my skills to impress the ladies. I was sure that’s what they were looking for. When I looked down, I knew they had to be thinking, if he’s that good at climbing what else is he good at? Or maybe that bewildered look just meant this guy is crazy, what am I doing here? However, most of the time the tree climbing ploy work in, if nothing else, starting a conversation.

Then there was rock climbing. I took two girls (individually not together) to Staved Rock State Park for rock climbing. First there was Jan. She was athletic and a photographer. We spent the day climbing freestyle up and down the moderately inclined cliffs over the Illinois River taking pictures as we went. We cooked out and drove the eighty miles back to campus before dark. It was a fun day until I got to my fraternity party that night. I had missed the football game. It was probably the only game we might have won if I hadn’t been AWOL. It was a great day and I was OK with a little condemnation.

The second girl’s name was Crystal, whom I wound up marrying a few years later. This time the only condemnation came from her. Oh she had a great time. She wasn’t nearly as athletic as Jan, but I was careful to keep her close and keep the climbs easy. We rested frequently. I also took a multitude of pictures. She loved the adventure and kept saying that her family wouldn’t believe it. That might have been true, if I hadn’t documented the entire adventure on film. The problem came after I had started the evening fire. I finally realized that I had been shooting the entire day without changing film. 35mm film has at the most 36 exposures. I must have shot fifty before I checked. You guessed it. For the first time in my life, I had forgotten to load the camera. I blame Crystal. I was obviously so excited that she agreed to go that……OK it was totally my fault. To this day, that is one of the only stupid things I have done for which, Crystal has yet to forgive me. We have gotten a lot of mileage out of the story though. I think when you’re married for as long as we have been, you learn to look at your lives a little more like you are seeing them from the top of a very tall tree (and with a little humor).

This is Jan about 100 feet above the Illinois River at starved Rock State Park. It would have been Crystal but ……………….

Category: Just for Fun Stories

No More Small Towns

Posted on August 7, 2015 by Ron • 1 comment

When Crystal and I grew up, the suburban neighborhoods of Chicago had a real sense of community. You knew your neighbors and they knew you. This could be a good and bad thing. There was a whole community looking out for the well being of the kids. That was good. Of course if you might occasionally get into trouble it was hard to keep a secret. Fortunately, I personally, seldom felt the wrath of the community grape vine. The safe space for kids to grow up led to freedoms seldom found in today’s communities.

My mom was borderline paranoid when it came to my safety. Occasionally, she would walk over to the school just to semi-covertly peek in the window to make sure I was in my assigned seat. Yet after school and during summers, as long as I checked in periodically, and she had a general idea of where I would be, I was free to roam to the boundaries of Oak Lawn. Generally, I was close to home playing with friends. However, exploring on my bike was also a big part of my youth.

One of my favorite destinations was the rather large prairie near Stony Creek. Nearly a mile from our home, the area was amazing. It was full of plants taller than me and all kinds of fascinating bugs and animals. There were frogs, and crayfish, raccoons and even an occasional rat (I never told mom). People also used the area as a dumping ground. I found and brought home some really valuable “treasures”. What I enjoyed most was riding up and down the rough dirt trails. Occasionally, I would use some of the scrap wood to build ramps to fly over with Henry (my bike). While I seldom shared details of my adventures, my mom knew enough to have the Band-Aids ready when I told her I was going for a ride. When I got my next bike, Henry the second at around twelve years old, the main reason, outside of my outgrowing the old balloon tired Henry the first, was the fact that the few remaining unbroken spokes could barely hold my weight. Furthermore, I could no longer successfully bend the wheels back to a normal straight appearance. They wobbled visibly back and forth as I rode.

Similarly, Crystal grew up in a wonderfully close and safe community. However, by the time that we were married, some things seemed to be changing. What seemed safe as we grew up no longer seems safe. When our children were young, job situations forced a move. We opted for a small town in Michigan. We found many of the same advantages with which we were familiar. People were friendly, helpful and ever mindful of the safety of the neighborhoods. Through several more moves over the next fifteen years we choose smaller towns/cities for the benefit of our children.

Today the Stony Creek area of Oak Lawn is developed. Many of our former neighbors complain about how the community has changed. Children don’t run or ride about alone or unsupervised. Even small towns are not the safe haven they have always been. Our close neighbor, Coshocton, just had a shooting at their Dairy Queen. Another small town in southern Ohio was connected to a serial killer. There no longer seems to be any safe refuge from drugs and violence. Children have to grow up too fast and parents can never take a day off from vigilance.

Finally, at the age of sixty-one, I get the expression ‘the good old days’. I am not stupid. I know that evil has always been with us. There were serial killers, drugs and shootings when we grew up. Today however, we live in an information age. Everything is in our face all of the time. We are desensitized to violence. Too many people feel as if they are losing the game of life (not the board game) because of all of the things, the media tells us, we need to be happy. Many choose to escape or become violent. There are fewer parents at home. So where does this leave today’s kids and their parents? I believe this is just another stress affecting the stability of marriages and families today.

I apologize for this post. I know many who read our blog look to us for fun, facts and advice. I have no remedy and no great advice. If you are a Christian, I believe we are one step closer to Jesus’ return. The only advice that comes to mind is what I have shared with my daughter, and mother of my grandkids, Elizabeth, on several occasions. Just do the best you can and pray a lot.

Dad and I in front of our old House in Oak Lawn, IL. Fall 2012

Category: Past, Present and Future

Take the Bronte Sisters, for Example

Posted on July 23, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

Crystal has been in a love affair since long before I met her. No it’s not another man. Her affair is with books and literature. I knew Crystal was an avid reader the first time I met her. When I introduced myself at that 50’s party in 1975 she talked about her love of literature and why she was an English major. My vain attempts to impress her with bits and pieces I remembered from my high school literature classes sounded thin even to me. She left that night totally unimpressed. I was relatively unphased, figuring I would probably never speak with her alone again. She thought I was a phony and I thought she was too intense.

Today, a number of decades later, I realize the depths of her obsession. Our house contains at least ten book cases full of books. (She won’t agree to this. She says she has a library and also that she is a writer.) Some have additional books stacked on top. In the attic, there are easily another twenty boxes of books and more in the garage. The best gift I ever gave her was a Kindle. I believe by now she has another sixty plus books on it.

I guess if you are going to have an obsession, or as she would insist passion, literature and book collecting aren’t the worst. Part of being happily married is allowing your spouse to grow in their interests. For nearly forty years, I have listened (although at time less than attentively) about the brilliance of the Bronte sisters. Now it’s your turn.

Crystal’s Corner

I read Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte when I was in Jr. High School. My mother made me read it. It is a classic book, a mystery, somewhat Gothic and a love story. The three Bronte sisters, Charlotte, Emily and Anne wrote novels in the 1800’s under pseudonyms. Emily and Anne had to pay to get their first novels published. Charlotte’s novel, Jane Eyre, was purchased by a publisher and was very successful from the start.

What is amazing about their books is that they illustrate woman’s history in a fictional form. In Wuthering Heights, it is understood that Cathy Earnshaw had to marry well if she wanted to have any kind of a decent life. After her father dies, her brother, a drunk and a tyrant, is losing their fortune. Emily’s brother had a terrible drinking problem and gambling addiction. If her brother survived her father, he would inherit everything because at that time period women did not own property or estates. This was one of the reasons why the Bronte sisters wanted to make money. None of them were married or engaged to be married before they wrote their novels. Charlotte and Anne had worked in the only professions available to women: teaching and being a governess. Neither of those professions worked out for them. As children who were kept away from society other than their father’s parish, they wrote tales for years. Their poetry was published before the novels. (They had to pay for the first printing.) The book, although it had gotten excellent reviews, was not successful.

Wuthering Heights was the only novel Emily wrote before she died from TB. Her oldest sisters had died in childhood from the disease and from being at a boarding school. The boarding school described in Jane Eyre was similar to the school that Charlotte and her two oldest sisters were sent to when they were children. It was a brutal school for minister’s daughters. Their father had never set foot in the school when he took them there and had no idea that they were being starved and abused at the hands of the staff. Charlotte mainly survived because she was stronger and also did not stay at the school as long as her sisters. So that put Emily, Anne and Charlotte to be educated at home with books that they read and discussions which they had with their father.

What is interesting about Jane Eyre and Wuthering heights is that the main characters are motherless girls. Jane had also lost her father and was staying with her Aunt and Uncle. Cathy lost her mother very young and then her father before she was grown up. The problems with being an orphan or poor relation are emphasized in Charles Dickens books: Oliver, David Copperfield, and others. The Bronte sisters were raised by their Aunt who came to live with them after their mother died.

Many people think that classics like Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights are just old dusty outdated books, but they have excellent characterization, plotting and some timeless truths in their pages. If you haven’t read them or haven’t read them for a long time, try them. I don’t think you will regret it. These two classics like Jane Austen’s books have been made into movies and TV series over and over again. Obviously, even today’s audiences are entertained by their magic. I know I am.

Not the Bronte sisters, but three pretty special sisters just the same. Unfortunately I’m fresh out of pictures of English moors.

Category: About our Book and Writing

Independence Day

Posted on July 5, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

Another Independence Day has come and gone. For us, it was a good day. I can’t remember better weather on the fourth. The high was about 75 degrees and it was sunny all day. We took my dad out for a walk in the woods and then our whole family ate dinner at a local BBQ restaurant. It was a great time of food, fellowship, and family. Later Liz’s family, Lisa, Crystal and I watched the Coshocton fireworks (or at least what we could see from a distance).

This whole weekend I’ve been struggling about what Independence Day really mean? At one time, brave men fought and died for their freedom, their families and countless generations yet to come. We are the beneficiaries of their sacrifice. Each year, we celebrate the freedoms won nearly two and a half centuries ago with bands, fireworks and barbeques. We love reliving stories of our founding fathers: the Washington at Valley Forge, Boston Tea Party, “Give me liberty or give me death” bravery. We love the poetic passionate plea of declaration penned by Thomas Jefferson and signed unanimously by the Continental Congress. Sometimes, it helps to reflect back on men of passion and great purpose.

Maybe, if we would do that more than one day a year, America could, at least for a time, fend off its slow decline. What would the founding fathers say if they could see what our freedom has led to?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Yet it took nearly one hundred years for some to be declared free. Some would insist that we are still not there. What about the Creator part? If you watch mainstream media, God and those who aspire to follow him are subject to continuous ridicule and denigration. The pursuit of happiness is definitely there. That’s all most Americans agree on any more. Today, however, happiness seems to more about the seeking of material possessions and pleasure, than anything of real value. Family values have become self-serving and superficial. Feeling good is more important than doing good. This has affected our home lives, our marriages, and how we raise our children. At one time, marriage was considered a source of happiness. Today we have gone from till death to third time’s a charm.

Recently Gay marriage has become legal. I know this would be a problem for our founding fathers as well. Personally, as a God fearing Christian, I know it is not up to me to judge others. I feel that the main problem with our country is the lack of the self sacrificial love that Jesus showed us. That holds true for any marriage and those who are called to remain single. In my view (and I believe this to be Biblical) happiness cannot exist without love.

Don’t misunderstand my tirade about America today; there is nowhere I would rather be. This country has many problems, but it is still a great nation. Decline is natural. In the history of the world, no empire has dominated the world for more than several hundred years; not the Greeks, the Romans, the Spanish, or the British, etc. I just feel that for a country founded on Judeo Christian values, we could sure use a resurgence of those values now. So at this time, instead of celebrating the accomplishments of those great patriots of so long ago, please join me in praying for stronger families and a return to our root values. That is what made this country great, it is what our founding fathers hoped for, and is our best hope for a bright future.

Everyone waiting to see fireworks July 4th 2015

Category: Holidays

Boys and Girls

Posted on June 18, 2015 by Ron • 0 comment

Misconceptions about the sexes have been going on since God created us. However, each individual must learn those painful lessons for themselves. When I was in sixth grade I became a Patrol Boy. I would stand on the street corner and tell the apparently blind, younger children, when it was safe to cross the street. Then, if it was cold enough, would get free hot chocolate before going to my class. I still remember the day Nancy, one of my classmates, smiled at me, thanked me and offered me a hard candy. I stood there and wondered if we were engaged. She was cute and friendly. I could have done worse.

The next year was the special after school lecture. Dads and sons were there on one evening, daughters and moms on another. I was incensed. Making me go back to that place for a second time in the same day! Was this a dictatorship? Apparently it was. The subject that evening was what everyone, and at the same time nobody wanted to know about, SEX. In particular, they talked about what was going on with our female counterparts. They talked about women and their periods. I think there was a collective groin of disbelief. Then one brave adolescent spoke out; really, every month? Then the fateful question came. When do boys start showing real interest in girls? The answer was simple. At different times, but generally when the girls shapes start changing. Then my ADD took over my brain function. That simple answer sent me into another realm. I had never really noticed, but girls and women don’t look the same. That process was going on while we were sitting there. Some of my classmates did look curiously different after the summer. Some seemed to be changing during this year or last year. Some of the changes were subtle and slow, others seemed to happen overnight. Which ones had changed and which ones were in the process? My mind raced through a list of my classmates. I know they talked about a lot of other stuff that evening, stuff that might have helped me, but I was essentially gone. On the way home dad asked if I had any questions. I said no while in my mind I was screaming, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

The next year we were forced to take dance classes after school. Apparently, you have to dance in High School. I later found out that fortunately, unlike classes dancing was optional in high school. I opted to not. Our dance classes weren’t too bad though. Somehow I managed to keep the same partner through most of it. Sandy was a very nice young girl. She smiled and even laughed at some of my jokes. I thought about asking her out that year and even the next year. Sandy was pretty, but she didn’t look like Rachel Welch (sexy movie star at the time). I worried about peer pressure and judgment. I also worried about rejection. I wasn’t very good at reading signs and now that I knew girls were different, what if I had misinterpreted the signals? This kind of uncertainty followed me through my high school years.

Freshman year, I was awkward and shy around girls. While that didn’t improve much, the next year I took a shot. I asked a pretty girl with a leather jacket who hung with the tough group just off the school grounds. She said something mean and called me a name. OK, she was probably a bad choice, but the damage was done. Message received; girls can be mean.

The next year I was shocked when one of the prettiest girls in school asked to be my chemistry lab partner. Unfortunately, she only wanted me for my brain, even though I was willing to give so much more. We both suffered that year. Even though I liked chemistry, I found myself continuously distracted. We both might have gotten better than C+ if she hadn’t kept leaning over the bench so often. I just couldn’t tell her.

Senior year at least I found some common ground. I was good at sports. I gave some private tennis and skiing lessons to girls who wanted to learn. At least I was learning to interact one on one. They no longer seemed mean or manipulative.

Finally in college most of the clicks were gone. Everyone had at least one common goal, survive as painlessly as possible and inevitably graduate. Fortunately, I got lucky and fell into a great group of friends who more or less stuck together for four years. Finally, one of the girls revealed the secret to dating. If you don’t ask, they won’t say yes. She went on to explain that if I was tactful and my timing was OK (i.e. never through a bathroom door), there were only two possible outcomes; either you would make some girl feel a little better about herself (someone wanted her), or she would say yes. Apparently, I had been looking at this dating thing all wrong. You don’t have to understand women to ask them out (thank God). What a relief that was. Suddenly it struck me. This was no longer a problem in sociology, at which I suck. It was now a simple statistical problem, which I could handle.

In my time at Bradley University I had the opportunity to make many young ladies feel good about themselves. I also got to date some really nice girls. Some even surprised me. One time when I noticed a very cute girl (way out of my league) laughing at my corny jokes I thought I would take a shot. When she said ‘sure’ my mouth just fired before my brain could stop it. I said “REALLY?!?” They say seven is God’s perfect number, so it might not be a coincidence that Crystal was the seventh girl (I barely knew her) I asked to the semi-formal dance my senior year. Statistics work.

So what lessons have we learned? A really good golfer noticed a similar situation in his sport, when he noted that 100% of the puts that are short of the hole don’t make it in. Go out and make someone feel a little better about themselves. Finding the one starts by finding someone.

As far giving advice to young people, just stick with everyone goes through awkward times at their age, but it will get better. They won’t believe you, but at least they know you care.

I know! How did the girls in my high school keep their hands off me?

Category: Just for Fun Stories, Suitable Mate