Ron, Author at Marriage Memoir by Ron and Crystal Meinstein

Blog Archives

Words of Wisdom

Posted on April 18, 2017 by Ron • 2 comments

I just got back from Kentucky. It was an overnight to take care of some business dealing with Crystal’s dad’s estate. We stayed with Michelle, Alex, and our new grandbaby, Ayla. As a rule, I always try to be helpful. They mentioned their fight with sleep deprivation and Ayla’s lack of consideration for their needs. I told them they would have to adapt to her. It would take time, but to take heart, for ‘this too shall pass’. I also mentioned that, now that she is a mother, Michelle’s days of being right are over. Someone would always be around to tell her that she is doing it wrong. I told her it wouldn’t be easy, but I had faith in her. She and Alex would make good decisions. I told Alex to always agree with his wife. It will make his life soooo much easier. If she needs your help, she will ask.

On the way home, I thought to myself, how did I get so smart? When did I switch from total uncertainty to the font of all knowledge? I think the difference is distance and time. Once the last child moves out, (Crystal will cry when she reads this) you have something you haven’t had for years….time to reflect and process. I suppose that is why the generals aren’t actually on the front lines. They are more effective away from the action, where they can process and plan.

OK, now that I think about it, if I had to give one key point, it would be to decide on what you and your spouse believe, and parent accordingly. The largest hurdle for Crystal and me was deciding rules we both agreed on, and consequences (both positive and negative) for those rules. We knew we needed to agree and be consistent or the kids would pick us apart. We spent time almost every day reviewing our progress and if necessary, adjusting our strategy.

However, advice is cheap, and worth what you pay for it. I don’t think our kids know that though. They still think we have a few answers. Maybe we do. However, what they need to realize is that outside of never ending love and support, our job is done. The goal of parenting isn’t raising kids, it’s preparing responsible adults. What I failed to mention to Michelle is that her child is now totally dependent on her. But that will soon change. As years go by, it will be her job, along with her husband to decide when and how to release control, and promote independence. You need to be there to congratulate them when they succeed, and reassure them when they fail. When you are done, they will let you know. After that, and for the rest of your life, they will still be your kids, but they will be grownups. You need to treat them as such.

Sounds like we really knew what we were doing, right? We were perfect parents. Now I get why I have all of this wisdom to share…..Except….it didn’t always work. Our kids still had problems, got into trouble, and we weren’t always consistent. Occasionally, Crystal and I wouldn’t agree and would argue about how to handle things.

Reality has set in. I am really not the font of anything except maybe ego. Parenting is a struggle. The good news is that my advice (worth every penny) was good. For a new mother, like Michelle, I know it was reassuring to know that in a little while her baby will adapt and sleep through the night. As the child grows, there will be new challenges, but she will adapt. She was raised to be able to adapt and overcome. I have no doubt that she will always put her child’s needs ahead of her own. I think that is the simple definition of a good parent. I will continue to give my two cents. Some habits are impossible to break. But I know, and I think she knows, she is ready, and with God’s help, she and Alex will be wonderful parents.

Left to right, daughter Liz holding Addelyn, My dad, daughter Michelle holding Ayla

This was at a Greek restaurant in Columbus Ohio for Easter celebration.

Category: About Marriage and Family, Wisdom and Encouragement

Our Hearts belong to Daddy By Crystal Meinstein

Posted on March 4, 2017 by Ron • 0 comment

Sorrow lasts for a night, but Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)

Last week this Bible verse came true for my family. On Thursday evening, Feb. 16, my father went home to be with the Lord. On Friday morning, Feb. 17, my daughter, Elizabeth, gave birth to my granddaughter, Addelyn Klein.

I will miss my father very much. We were always very close and happy to be together.

I have wonderful memories of my childhood with my Dad. We would go to the People’s store on Michigan Ave. in Chicago. My dad would buy chocolate covered peanuts at the candy counter and we would sit on the large landing dividing the staircases and watch the people. I thought that was why they called it the People store.

Every fall we would rake the leaves and my dad would burn them so we could roast marshmallows over the fire. When our hands could reach the push mower handles, Dad would have us stand in front of him to help him cut the grass. We also learned to paint the walls as toddlers: first with water and then with paint. Dad and I loved to watch Tarzan movies starring Johnny Weissmuller on Saturday afternoons. As a child I thought he knew Roy Rogers and Gene Autry personally. We watched westerns with him and he liked shows like Bonanza and Gun Smoke. Sometimes when our old black and white TV broke down, he would get out his harmonica or his mandolin and play for us. We would sing cowboy songs with him.

He would eat Jeannette and my tiny cakes we made in our Easy Bake Oven. A few years later, he was even happier when we baked large cakes, cookies, brownies, etc. in the real oven. My mom made great pies and butterscotch meringue was Dad’s favorite. She would make it for his birthday. Fortunately, mom taught me to cook and to bake when I was young because when she got sick I could do the cooking. When mom was very sick, Dad, Larry, Jeannette and I joined forces. Dad said we would never be able to do all that Mom did, but we could team up together and try. He would split the grocery list in half and give me half and then race me in the grocery store. This didn’t work very well because Dad didn’t know the products that Mom usually bought. I did. But he always tried to make things fun even in the worst of times.

Dad was a wonderful speaker who won awards in the Toastmaster organization. Most of his speeches were humorous. His sense of humor got us through a lot of trouble and hard times. I followed in his footsteps, giving several public speeches in Jr. High School and joining the Debate team in high school. He also read all of my term papers, poetry, and short stories. When I was about 10 years old and having problems with mean kids at school, my dad gave me his books, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. He also would read Rudyard Kipling’s poetry to me. He told me that when someone hurts you write him a letter and then tear it up. He also said that, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” After I left home, I had Dad’s and Mom’s voices in my head. When I had difficulties, I would think; what would Dad do; or what would Mom do? It helped me in making decisions.

For several summers when I was in high school I worked at dad’s office at Sherwin Williams. This experience consisted of riding in Dad’s car pool with his friend, Crazy Fred. I attribute learning to pray often on those terrifying trips. Dad at the office was very well respected. He would take me out to lunch with his friends, Alice Harris and Norris Bishton. I could tell that he was proud of me and that gave me confidence in myself.

When I married Ron, Dad walked me down the aisle. He really didn’t want me to get married yet. He said I was completely trained to do everything in the house and now I was leaving. Ron and I lived close to Mom and Dad in Illinois and so Ron established a close relationship with both of them. After they moved to Cincinnati and we moved to Indiana, we saw them as often as we could. We played pinochle, went out to dinner, visited and took care of the kids together. Daddy was a wonderful grandfather and great grandfather. He loved babies and was a great babysitter. My children were all very attached to their grandfather and my grandchildren were also close to him. His presence in their lives will be missed.

I know that Dad is with Mom in heaven right now and that is where he wanted to be. But it will be difficult to not see him and talk to him. When I lived at home, every morning, Dad would hug me and tell me that he loved me. He knew when I was upset and would ask me to tell him what was wrong. He was my confident, my companion, my supporter and my Daddy.

Category: About Marriage and Family, Past, Present and Future

Goodbye Mr. Carlson

Posted on February 20, 2017 by Ron • 2 comments

It is February 17, 2017. My father in law passed away yesterday. It was no surprise. He had been losing ground for some time. Even so he will be sorely missed. I am writing this because it helps me process my feelings and find peace.

We saw Mr. Carlson a couple of weeks ago. He seemed glad to see Crystal and me. We spent time talking about the past and our family. When we left, as always, he thanked us for visiting. I could tell he wasn’t going to be with us much longer. He was down to just over 100 pounds and periodically talking to people who weren’t in the room (according to Larry). As a nurse, I have seen that happen before. I believe, at some point, we transition to our next reality. For years, since his wife’s death, Jim has yearned to be with her. Oh, he was as much as possible, engaged in the reality of everyday life, but things were never the same. At least today we know where he is. Our loss will be Heaven’s gain. He and his Mary Jane are once more reunited.

I remember the first time I met Jim Carlson. He smiled and shook my hand. He looked at his daughter and his expression changed. He never gave me the lecture, but I could tell. He might as well have been cleaning a firearm and explaining how important it was that no one should hurt his daughter. However, the scowl didn’t last long. He could tell that Crystal was in love with me. And worse yet, I think Mary Jane knew, and told him to give me a break. He always listened to Mary Jane. Between the two of them there was some kind of unspoken balance. Together they worked.

It was only a few months later that I asked him for permission to marry his daughter. The scowl returned, if only for a moment. Both of us knew that wouldn’t last. Crystal had laid the ground work. While our relationship hadn’t always been perfect, we were in love. She talked about me all of the time, and quoted me as if I were the second coming of Niche. He told me about the importance of the commitment and how much he and Mary Jane cared for Crystal. I reassured him that he wasn’t losing a daughter and I would do my best to care for her. He relented and I have felt part of their family ever since.

Though the years my relation with Jim has been special. I have learned a lot from him. He has always been there when I needed advice or reassurance. Of course when it came to his daughter, all bets were off. When Crystal and I argued he would always take her side. His best advice to me was, ‘your wife is always right’. On the other hand, Mary Jane was usually more understanding. She told Jim to stay out of it and then helped Crystal to calm down. Most of the time that was all the help we needed.

Ironically, in these modern times, both of my married daughters’ husbands came to me prior to their engagements, to ask for my permission or at least my blessing. I acted as if I had learned nothing from Jim. The first I warned that I thought my daughter was too screwed up (from a previous relationship) to marry anyone. The second, I warned that we considered marriage a lifelong union and I worried about his level of commitment. Fortunately, both ignored my warnings, and currently have my daughters popping out more grandbabies. Not to bury the lead, my daughters are both happy.

Over the years, Jim has always treated me like a member of the family. I know he thought of me that way. I helped when I could. It was little things; shoveling a driveway, a little yard work or shopping.

What he gave me was far more valuable than a few odd jobs. He showed me what it meant to be a real man. Jim always put the needs of others before his own. Whether it meant helping friends and neighbors or being there for his own family he was always trying to help. I still remember sitting with him during one of Crystal’s surgeries. The surgery was supposed to last six hours, but wound up lasting nine. While he tried to reassure me, I could tell he was more nervous than me. Somehow, watching him squirm while trying to read, and asking me every fifteen minutes to check with the nurse, helped me to relax. I knew he cared as much as I did.

He loved his grandkids as well. Those feelings were mutual. One time, when we lived in Greensburg, our wives abandoned us. It was a cold day in October and Crystal and her mom were at a quilting show in Kentucky. Jim and I were left to hold a garage sale and take care of the kids. I stayed outside while he stayed (smartly) in the house. The girls, along with several neighbor kids, went back and forth. When they were out we threw a football, or they just sat with me and talked. I will admit to some evil thoughts about my wife (the sale was her idea) as the snow flurries began. But the girls helped. At one point, I had three of them sitting on me on top of the old chair we were giving away. I was finally warm. When they were in the house, I knew they were safe, playing, watching TV or talking to Jim. Every once and a while, he would check on me to make sure I was still alive and not covered with snow.

I’m also so pleased that Jim and Mary Jane agreed to be in our memoir. The first time he met her was during WW2 at the Kenosha USO. He saw her across a room and immediately was drawn to her. When he arrived at her side, he knocked over a lamp which Mary Jane caught. Together, they were a testament to what marriage should be. I don’t mean the love at first site bit. That never lasts. It’s the part about when one person knocks over a lamp the other will always be there to catch it. Through fifty-five years of marriage, Mary Jane and Jim never lost that.

Those last ten or so years, after Mary Jane’s passing, were never the same. Each time we visited, Jim was glad to see us. We spent hours just talking, watching his favorite westerns or playing pinnacle. Often Crystal and I would cook a nice meal or take him out to a restaurant. But we could tell, he was different. He had lost the love of his life and longed to be with her again. Today, that day has come. While their legacy will live on through their children and those who loved them, Mary Jane and Jim are together again. Praise God!

Also today, February 17, 2017 our latest granddaughter, Miss Addelyn Macenzie Klein, entered the world. A healthy baby girl, Liz and Brad’s latest, serving as a reminder that life will continue. Love will go on.

Jim at Michelle’s college graduation in 2008. Liz and new baby Addelyn

Category: About Marriage and Family

Procreation, God’s Creation

Posted on January 17, 2017 by Ron • 0 comment

I was surprised when Sunday’s sermon was dedicated to the sanctity of human life. I was surprised since I had just finished writing the following much related post. I was going to wait a couple of days to post it, in case Crystal had something to add. She has just given me the all clear to post it as is.

Our daughters take the sanctity of human life very seriously and are doing their part. Sometime, over the next couple of months both Liz and Michelle are expecting to bring a couple of new baby girls into the world.

I find the decision to be a grandpa again, was an easy one. We love our four grand children very much, like spending time with them, playing with them and handing them back to their mom and dad. The decision to be a parent is infinitely more difficult. Not everyone should become a parent. There is nothing sadder than seeing parents who should have never been parents. I won’t elaborate. I don’t think I need to. Go out in the world or watch Dr. Phil.

The decision to raise children will impact every aspect of your life: your relationship with your spouse (significant other), where you live, how you spend your money, how you spend your free time (I use the term loosely), etc. I know my girls are and will be great parents. They have both put in the ground work. They have good value systems, will put the needs of their children ahead of their own, and have adequately trained their husbands.

That last one is in no way a slight on their husbands. Brad and Alex are wonderful, but we (guys) all need some training. You see, most women have a head start on us. They think about being moms from the time they are toddlers. Most young boys aren’t very much into baby dolls or doll houses. Also, even if it’s only in those stupid gym class lectures, girls are taught about their greater level of commitment. Guys don’t get pregnant, or have to give birth. The joke that, if guys had to have babies the human race would have died out a long time ago, might not be that farfetched. Also, during the pregnancy or after the birth, guys may come and go. But a mom is a mom, is a mom. As I have said on several occasions, finding a spouse and having a child are two decisions which, while they may affect each other, should be made independently.

From my own experience, Crystal and I both agreed before we got engaged that we wanted to raise a family. However, it was Crystal who read the books and magazines, had the baby shower, organized the nursery, and set up the child birth and Lamaze classes. I went along with everything. Once she was pregnant, I did my best to be supportive and empathetic, but I had my work and my life. I admit, in a lot of ways, I was ignorant. Things for me became a different level of reality, only after the nurse handed me my daughter(s). The first time they looked up and saw daddy, they knew they had me. They were right.

I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but that first day with Elizabeth I will never forget. I carried her proudly with my best one handed football carry. I knew she was safe. I never dropped a football. Of course footballs don’t giggle and wiggle. After I picked her up…..Kidding…..we arrived at the car. I think it took about the next five minutes to fight the car seat into submission. Somewhere in that time I had my Prissy moment. I don’t know noting bout raisen no babys. That moment only lasted for about the next twenty years. I’m OK now. The point is the miracle of birth is followed by years and years of work and commitment. However, it is so worth it. Besides, to do any less is like telling God to take back his miracle.

To say birth is a miracle is an understatement. To me, a baby is the ultimate proof of a God. As a scientist, I look at the world from a critical point of view. I drove my anatomy teacher crazy pointing out the inconsistencies and errors in our book. I read my Bible (excuse the pun) religiously. While I often struggle with details and have a list of questions for God, I never doubt His existence.

While many scientists struggle to find the proposed missing link, my question is much more basic. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? There is a correct answer…..They had to arrive simultaneously. Think about it. So the next time you look across the table at your spouse, you can thank God for that one magnificent chromosome, which made all of that difference. Procreation is God’s creation.

To my beloved daughters, their husbands and all who have decided to perpetuate the human race regardless of the costs, congratulations, mozel tof, and shalom.

I finally have something in common with my daughters.

Category: About Marriage and Family

The Gift Grinch

Posted on December 22, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

That’s me! I am the Gift Grinch! When it comes to giving gifts I am probably fine. I say probably because I don’t do a lot of Christmas shopping. I generally buy for Crystal and for my dad. Crystal is the real shopper. I think she starts Christmas shopping in July. Of course books are a big part of her shopping list. I think she is just determined that everyone should enjoy reading as much as she does. She is affectionately known as the book nana. She is also happy with whatever you give her. I think gratefulness is in her nature.

It’s not that I’m never grateful. I have a great life. I am blessed with a wonderful wife and family. We live in a nice house in a very pleasant small town. We basically have everything we need. However, I definitely have a problem accepting gifts. It is never the fault of the giver. I know my wife and daughters spend a lot of time planning and shopping.

I am truly grateful for all of the efforts and truly grateful for the sentiments behind them. It’s just the gifts and my reactions, I have problems with. Oh, I often say all the right things and smile appropriately, but that’s not enough. The real problem is that I am surrounded by women. Women can tell when you are sincere, unless you are a really good liar, which I’m not.

You see, I have simple desires. When I need something, I will either buy it or start a prolonged process of searching for it. Often, I will have a list in my mind and when I stumble onto what I need, buy it. For example, I have needed a new golf bag for a while. My old one was still functional, but getting holes and more and more worn. I first went to a few stores. Before long, I realized that golf bags are overpriced. I wasn’t going to pay that for a bag to hold my clubs, and no one else should either. The bag won’t increase your enjoyment of the game or improve your swing. In my research I did however decide on exactly the perfect type of bag. I wasn’t about to mention it to my daughters or Crystal. They would probably spend way too much and buy one. Instead, I just kept my eyes open for a few years. One day Susan, our neighbor, mentioned that her church was having a garage sale. Always trying to be supportive of our Christian community, I checked it out. There it was…my bag. It was slightly worn, but marked down to five dollars. I’ve been using it ever since.

OK, so what happens when I do get a nice, meaningful gift from those who care about me? Maybe the best example which my girls still talk about happened a few years ago. My favorite charcoal grill finally broke down. I had picked the neighbors Webber out of the garbage and used it for another ten years. Naturally, since I grill quite often, I went immediately out to look for a new one. Webbers were too expensive, so over the next couple of years, I tried a few others. None worked as well. My girls knew that and went in together to buy a really good grill. I pulled the paper off and looked at the picture. It wasn’t a Webber. It looked more like one of the grills I had already tried and trashed. OK, I’m sorry. I once again need to apologize to my girls. I can’t help what my face does. They instantly knew I wasn’t happy. All of their planning and conspiring to please me were in vain. So I took the grill back added a few bucks and got my new Webber. I’ve been happily using it ever since. I’ve also been periodically thanking them with grilled food. Somehow, it will never be enough. My initial Grinchy reaction may never be overcome. It does, however, provide for fun stories from time to time with the moniker, Oh that’s just dad.

Another example: A few years ago I got a new set of knives. I didn’t need a set of knives. I still used the same knives I had used for the previous twenty years. They were getting a little smaller from continuous sharpening. I had lost one and the handle was loose on another, but it was still functional. Again I made ‘the face’. SORRY! Finally my favorite knife’s handle broke off. It was time for a new set. WOW, look at that I found a new set of knives under the kitchen table. Didn’t someone give that to me for Christmas or my birthday? Of course, it was from Michelle. I used it for a while and came to a stunning revelation. This set was actually better than my old set. I finally called Michelle and earnestly thanked her. The only problem was that the set was from Elizabeth. OH well….do you see the problem? That’s why I’m the Gift Grinch.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not without hope. If the Grinch could do it so can I.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?” “It came without ribbons! It came without tags!” “It came without packages, boxes or bags!” And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.” “Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

It is nice to be understood and accepted by your loved ones for who you are. Of course, I will try to be more grateful for whatever I get. After all, it’s really the love of the giver that’s the real gift. Jesus knows that.

Merry Christmas!

The grinch grin

Category: Just for Fun Stories

Getting in the Mood for Christmas

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

Now that all of the election unpleasantness is over and our bellies are returning to normal after Thanksgiving, we can turn our attention to the really important matters. That’s right, Christmas. In the old days, listen to me kids, you started talking Christmas after Thanksgiving. These days, however, Christmas decorations appear in Wal-Mart around Labor Day. The Hallmark Christmas movies start two weeks before Halloween. Sadly, it’s no longer about preparing for the birthday of Jesus, but Black Friday and shopping. Of course, this is nothing new, probably worse, but not new.

I still remember, as a kid, this season being my favorite time of the year. Mom wouldn’t have it any other way. I was her only child and the rightful prince of the house. i.e… I was spoiled. The only thing I think I liked better than the day, was the anticipation of the day. It would start when every day in November I would check the front porch. I knew it would arrive in a timely manner. Then finally it came! About two to three inches thick, everyone got one. The day the Sears Christmas catalog arrived, my season began. I would spend hour after hour pouring over each page of the colorful guide to my happiness. Yes, I even gave a casual glance to the clothing section. Models would be poised like they were having fun just wearing clothes. Of course, I spent most of my time studying the new and wonderful toys and sports equipment.

The first few days I would just fire through the pages to get a feel for them. What a wonderful feeling. After that it was time to get serious. With pencil in hand, I began to form my strategy. I would start to circle all of the possible choices and duck tailing the pages. It might have been easier to circle the ones I wasn’t interested in. Of course, at least I could skip over the girl pages. I had no interest in dolls, tea parties etc… However, I might admit I kind of had a thing for the Easy Bake Oven. The idea of baking my own cookies and cakes did have a certain appeal. Once my list was complete, I would categorize according to priority. A target rifle and scuba gear was always at the top of my list. I never got either.

Then it came; the shopping trips with mom. We would typically go by bus the ten miles or so to the Evergreen Park Mall. Mom didn’t drive until I was older. We would get to the mall and there was Santa. I stopped believing in him at an early age. How could he be on every street corner and at the mall? Santa’s brothers? Give me a break. I had friends with brothers. They were named Tim and Kevin, not Tim and Tim. Besides, why would so many parents be wondering around my favorite area of the department (toys) if Santa did all of the heavy lifting? I pretended though. It seemed to make mom happy. I even remember once sitting on Santa’s lap and when he asked what I wanted, saying, ‘Didn’t you read my letter?’. This seemed to embarrass mom.

Then things got real. For days, the house would get more and more Christmassy. I never appreciated how much work was involved until many years later. The tree and lights were my favorite part. Occasionally, I would go with dad to pick out the perfect tree. Without me, he would inevitably get it wrong. I do remember some “discussions” about the tree quality. However, they always looked great once decorated (mom’s job) and after dad cut enough off and the proper side was facing the street.

On Christmas Eve, mom and I would walk through Oak Lawn by night. We would enjoy all of the beautifully decorated houses on our way to St. Linus Catholic Church for the service. It was my favorite service of the year. It was mercifully short and almost entirely in English (they still spoke a lot of Latin back then). Then back home for my half-hearted attempt at sleep. Usually, I would find an excuse to get up a few times before actual sleep occurred (bathroom, water, etc.).

I think it was probably a late night for mom and dad; but in the morning I was never disappointed. I would rip open the clothing presents and toss the contents casually aside in order to get to the more important gifts. While I don’t think my parents were overly concerned with my Sears catalog marking, I always got more than I deserved. On Christmas night, we often drove through the neighborhood. Dad always seemed to know where all of the best decorated houses were.

These days, as an adult, the times seem a little more turbulent. There is no more Sears catalog. I read an article saying that Sears itself may not be long for this world. These days, I wish someone else would buy my socks or underwear. I miss mom. However, when I talk to our girls, I can see that they are not willing to give up on our traditions or the season. Liz drags her kids around shopping unceasingly. Lisa usually is with her to assist. Michelle, while she no longer lives in the area, calls to ask all of the when and where details of our celebration. Our grandkids look forward to getting time off of school and all of the associated festivities.

I guess, all in all, there is still plenty to look forward to, and even more to pass on. Getting back to the real reason for the season, this last Sunday was the first of Christian Advent. The first candle lit was for hope. I think that’s what it’s really all about. The future has no guarantees, but where there is hope, there is life. May this little look back help prepare you to truly experience the joy of this season. When you are fighting for the last ‘Rogue One’ doll at Wal-Mart, try to ask yourself WWJD.

Crystal’s Corner: Christmas Traditions

To me, Christmas is the best season of the year because we are celebrating Jesus coming into the world to bring us light and peace and hope. My family, especially my mom, was very involved with Christmas. I sang in the choir at our church, so for weeks we were practicing for our December Cantata. That music in my head would last for months afterwards.

My Mom sent out over 100 Christmas cards. Before she did a newsletter, she wrote a note in almost every card. She would set up an assembly line in our living room. Signing the cards (usually Jeannette’s job because of her excellent handwriting), putting on the return addresses and stamps, sealing the envelopes and then sorting them into states. We were very organized. Some of my friends, once they saw what we were doing, wanted to join in. My Mom took all helpers.

Then there was the baking. We started right after Thanksgiving and every weekend, we baked cookies, sometimes raisin bread, and pumpkin bread and other sweets. We froze the cookies and then right before Christmas, we made up plates and gave one to everyone we knew including the paper boy, the mail man, the neighbors, the tax man, etc. We also had our cookie bake with friends. My best friend, Debbie, and her mom would come with their cookie dough including potato chip cookies. We had mixed up several batches especially cut out cookies, snickerdoodles, spritz, gingerbread, drop cookies, etc. The morning was spent baking and in the afternoon, we decorated the cut outs and gingerbread with icing and sprinkles and candies. Then we would divide up the cookies. This way, we got quite a variety. I have continued this tradition with my girls and my granddaughter. Boy, can these girls make wonderful cookies and candies. One year, we had the cookie bake at my house. We were making goodies in the kitchen, the dining room and the living room. I was having problems with my microwave that day (it was sparking) and when you opened my freezer, something would fall out.

We have a lot of fun at our cookie bakes, no matter where we do it. I miss Jeannette and my friend, Debbie at our cookie bakes. Jeannette and I did a lot together with Mom for Christmas. Beyond shopping and decorating and baking, we made many of the presents to give away. Mom would get us started in the summer, buying craft supplies and patterns on sale. We always made items for the craft bazaar at church in the fall anyway.

I actually shop for Christmas presents all year round and for birthday presents too. I learned a long time ago to spread it out and shop the sales. Now I shop online which is very helpful as well.

I cherish our Christmas traditions and I am very glad that my girls also continue to make the season very festive and enjoyable. Mostly, we enjoy doing things together, laughing, talking, eating any mistakes when we bake, and being thankful for each other and our faith. Christmas can be a lot of work, but if you do it with family and friends, it can be a wonderful season. My mother would sing carols all the time and we sang right along with her. “Tis the Season to be jolly!” Ron and I both hope that you are.

A couple of Christmas pictures from a few years ago.

Category: Holidays, Past, Present and Future

Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

Posted on November 6, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

I would like to start with an apology to those loyal faithful fans of the Cleveland Indians. They played their hearts out. If any of a dozen balls had bounced a little differently, I wouldn’t be writing this. But the Cubs did win, and I’m happy for them and for my old home town of Chicago. It still amazes me that my dad will turn 96 later this month, and, in his lifetime, this is the first time they have won the series.

This was a nice break from one of the dirtiest presidential campaigns in American history. I am proud to be an American, but disappointed in both of our major candidates. However, Donald’s slogan made me think. “When was America really great?” For me, that would have to be 1969. Why, you might ask. It was because of the Cubs of course! That was the year they were destined to win it all.

Being from the south side of Chicago, I was a diehard White Sox fan, but it was obvious from the start they were going nowhere. The Cubs, on the other hand, started the season winning eleven out of their first twelve games and were due, heck, overdue! With one of the most compelling lineups in the history of the game including Hall of Famers Ernie Banks, Ferguson Jenkins, Ron Santo, and Billy Williams, they were the team of destiny. On August 19^th, they led their division by 8 1/2 games. What followed was one of the most indescribably painful collapses in baseball history. In the end, they wound up 8 full games behind the team, now known as, the Miracle Mets.

I suffered right along with them. I remember that summer, walking everywhere with a little transistor radio glued to my ear. Even when I played my sandlot baseball, if the cubs were playing, the radio was right by my side. Occasionally, I had to field a ball to protect it. By the way, in case you were wondering, yes I was pretty good. At fifteen, I too dreamt of the day when I would play for the Sox. I would play for ten years, raking in an excess of $25,000 a year and be set for life.

But baseball aside, truly this was a time of America’s greatness. It had been six years since Kennedy had been assassinated. So that scar had almost healed. Of course it had been only a year since his brother Bobby Kennedy (then running for President) had been killed, and the riots at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. That was not so great. Still, President Kennedy’s cold war inspired dream of beating Russia in putting a man on the moon had happened. The pride was back.

Housewives and mothers were, for the most part, still in their homes. Neighborhoods were safer because of it. And then there were girls! At fifteen, I was alive at the right time. Long straight hair and miniskirts made life a little more fun. Even our future was assured. The women of Star Trek showed that to be true. I wonder how many outtakes there were when Yeoman Janice Rand or Lieutenant Uhura bent over wearing those short skirt uniforms.

Of course, in 1969 AfroAmericans (before they were blacks) were rioting. I never understood that. Here they were living in the land of opportunity. They had been free to enjoy all of the country’s privileges for over 100 years (ironically the same amount of time it took the Cubs to win). They were on TV, and in sports. Of course, living in the all white community of Oak Lawn, I had never actually met an AfroAmerican. Oh, I had seen them. Several worked in the Branding Iron Restaurant. They made the best spare ribs I had ever eaten. Surely the problem was just some giant misunderstanding.

Speaking of misunderstanding, this was also the height of the Viet Nam war. What was the big deal? We were America, so we had to be right. Nobody wanted the Commies to be on our doorsteps or under our beds. Besides, we always won our wars. A bunch of hippies didn’t agree. Of course, the girl hippies were cute, rocking out with flowers in their hair. OK, and the music was the greatest ever. Still, most of it didn’t say a lot of great things about our country.

I guess, when you look at it objectively, it makes you wonder, outside of baseball again becoming our national pastime, to what “great America” are we trying to return? On the eve of this critical election, please remember the words of the immortal long time mayor of Chicago, Richard J. Daily. ‘All “yous guys” should vote early and often’ (yes he actually talked like that).

Lisa and my dad at a White Sox Game (not Cubs) in 2012.

Category: Past, Present and Future

Women should seek to marry Boy Scouts (when grown up of course!)

Posted on October 10, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

Between the ages of 11 and 16, I was a Boy Scout. I became an Eagle Scout in 1970. We dedicated a chapter in our book to the experience. Recently, at our church, I met a scout who was just about to achieve his Eagle Scout rank. I congratulated him and told him, pretty much without thinking, that a lot of girls were looking for Boy Scouts like him. Upon further reflection, my being an Eagle Scout, never got me one date or any girl interested. However, there must be some reason that all three of my daughters told me that they wanted to marry an Eagle Scout.

It’s natural that I’m the man they want on a camping trip, but I believe there is more to it. The Scout Law is that ‘a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.’ That sounds like a pretty good guy who might stand up under the rigors of marriage.

The scout oath is ‘on my honor I will do my best to help the Girl Scouts get undressed’ (JOKE). Sorry, but that’s the version I remember (#Boy Scouts not saints). The real version says things about honoring God and country and more great things for a future spouse.

Most people know the scout motto of ‘be prepared’. What girl doesn’t want their man to carry some Kleenex or at least napkins and a map in the car? Or maybe you find some great tomatoes at the road stand on your trip. How great is it when he pulls out his pocket knife. And when you cut your finger with the knife, out come the Band-Aids.

You get the point. While girls might be attracted to a charmer or a bad boy, when it comes to a life partner, they need to focus on a guy with some solid character (like a Boy Scout should be).

There are other scouting attributes which help a guy in marriage. Scouting helps you to develop a broader base of knowledge. The longer you stay in the program, the more you are asked to learn. There are required badges like first aide, Citizenship, and fitness. Cooking is also required. Crystal’s grandmother approved of me instantly when she found out I could cook. She told Crystal as a little girl to find a guy that can cook or she would be stuck with preparing all of the meals.

In addition to the badges required to become an Eagle Scout, there are also electives. The list of choices is ponderous; everything from Chemistry, to Aviation, to Archaeology. If like Crystal and me, you plan to be in this marriage thing for the long haul, you want a partner with multiple interests. Otherwise, what will you talk about?

There are other bonuses, little things, which can make a big difference. Scouts learn not to panic when they get lost. They learn to mentor others, without being condescending. This is critical in marriage. They learn patience. This is a critical marriage attribute. But you ask, how do scouts learn patience? I once sat at an intersection for three hours listing all of the traffic violations. There were a lot of them, especially rolling stops. I spent another three hours with my scouting friend and neighbor, Ron Pozdol. I believe we were going for Insect Life merit badge. For three hours we watched all the activities of an ant hill. At one point, we were so bored Ron tore the wings off a moth and we watched the gruesome one sided battle. In the end it was dead moth down the hole.

The point is that a girl needs a guy who can be patient. I find shopping with Crystal a lot like watching that ant hill. Instead of ants, it’s people and there are no deaths in the process. However, inevitably (some time later) the moth goes down the hole, or rather, Crystal picks out the pair of shoes she needs and will complain about until we repeat the process.

Don’t misunderstand, I’m not complaining. It’s all part of earning the Good Husband badge. You never actually earn the badge, but it’s fun to keep trying. Here’s a message on patience for guys. If you can’t wait for the make up to go on, you probably won’t be there when it comes off (wink).

One final lesson you learn in scouting is recovering from disasters. When the tornado hit Oak Lawn in 1967 (also in our memoir) our troop sprang into action. For weeks, after the crisis, we collected food and helped with the cleanup.

In marriage, as I’ve said before, happily ever after is a myth. In fact, you will go through times when you feel like life is just one disaster followed by another. It’s at those times you and your spouse need to stick together and complete the required cleanup.

Bottom line girls, you don’t really need to marry a scout, just a guy who acts like one (#Good Character).

One thing scouting did for me was to give me a greater appreciation for God’s creations in nature. Take time to enjoy it and your life will be fuller.

Category: Suitable Mate

Everyone Should See Casablanca

Posted on September 13, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

Crystal has problems sleeping through the night. I too get up occasionally. Usually when I do she will be lying on the couch in the living room watching TV. Inevitably some old movie will be on. I often make a joke about the TV being broken, since it is only showing black and white. I have known for a long time, that Crystal’s preference is well made older movies. She explained to me that she used to watch them with her mom. Her mom would get excited and tell Crystal about all of the well known actors and explain the movie plots as needed.

I have always liked that about Crystal. She has an old spirit. She knows most of the old actors and the best of the old movies. As a writer she is drawn to movies with good, well thought out plots and good character development. Sadly, today’s movies all too often fall short. While I’m not as hooked on old movies as she, I totally agree that Casablanca is on the must see list.

Crystal’s Corner

I watched Casablanca recently. I think everyone should see this award winning movie. I understand it better now than I have in the past. It would be a good idea to have my daughters, and my grandchildren watch it with me.

Because of our memoir, 150 Years of Marriage, and interviews with our parents, I have learned a lot about WWII. Also, I have read many memoirs and historical fiction books about WWII, France and the Resistance. I know some French history and took French in Jr. High school and High school. I have also watched numerous movies about WWII – some true stories and some from novels that were made in the 1940’s and 1950’s. Through these films, you get a better picture of what real life was like during and after the war.

There is so much history referred to in this movie. Casablanca is the major port in Morocco in what was, at the time, called French North Africa. During WW2, there was constant tension between the indigenous French government and occupying German troops. So there were French officials and German officials running the place. There was a concentration camp on the island as well. Casablanca was a place people went because they were trying to leave France. The transition papers are a major topic of conversations. There is a black market where people went to trade for what they needed to leave.

Casablanca is a humorous and serious movie with many famous one liners and the music is from the time period. At one point in the movie, in the restaurant (“Rick’s Café Américain”), the German soldiers sing a German song that is pro Hitler and the Third Reich and then the French man who is married to Ingrid Bergman stands up and goes by the band to sing the French national anthem. The entire restaurant joins in because they are French. This causes quite a stir and brings a lot of tension into the scene. It is what makes this movie great and also important.

Of course, as with any great and timeless movie, the acting is amazing. Humphrey Bogart played Rick, the restaurant owner, and secretly, a gun runner. Ingrid Bergman played Ilsa, Rick’s now married ex-lover, who wandered back into Rick’s life for mysterious reasons. Together, Bogart and Bergman demonstrate what scene chemistry is all about. The part of Sam (played by Dooley Wilson), who is Rick’s closest friend and ally, is brilliantly portrayed. He has some funny parts and lines in the movie. Claude Raines, Paul Henri, and others add significantly as the plot develops.

So if a great love story, told amidst the backdrop of war and espionage, isn’t your cup of tea, don’t see Casablanca. However, you will miss an amazingly written and acted movie. If you are into Academy Awards, it won three, including Best Picture. Furthermore, it is part of our culture, which is why we should be having our young people watch it, and show it in history classes at schools. The history teachers then could explain all the WWII references and cultural understanding of the film. It would sure be better than lectures, reading the history books and taking tests.

Category: Past, Present and Future

Mission Possible versus Mission Impossible

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Ron • 0 comment

Crystal always has a lot to say. It wasn’t until we had been married for a couple of years that I realized the disparity in our conversations. We had just bought one of those new fangled answering machines (yes we’re old). I was in the habit of calling home during my lunch hour. One day the machine recorded one of our conversations. Crystal would say two or three sentences followed by me saying ‘I see’ or ‘I agree’ or ‘uha’, etc. Then she would continue. Listening to the tape that evening was a shock. I’m not complaining. I think she just has more words to get out than me.

She is also a more prolific writer. So the next couple of blogs are dedicated to my better half. I have never been much of a “Mission Impossible” fan, but love her take in the following.

Crystal’s Corner

My brother and I watched “Mission Impossible” when we were growing up. I especially like the music and the actors like Leonard Nemoy and Barbara Baines. Sometimes the stories were too violent for me, but I liked that the team would figure out what to do and carry it out. It was usually surprising and intriguing.

We are called as Christians to be on missions for God. If you choose to accept it, because of Jesus, those missions are made possible (“With God all things are possible.”). Life is not predictable or logical. Many things have happened in our lives that seemed to make no sense at all. Later when we looked back at them we can often see that God had the plan all along. Ron and I have written in our memoir about our lives and our parents’ lives and we can see God’s hand in all of our lives. It is beautiful to see this. I am so grateful for God’s blessings and His leading us from situation to situation. I am considering writing a second memoir about our ten years in Indiana; because God did so much for us there. He led us there in the first place, brought the church and people to help us, and blessed us many times. He has led us here to Ohio and blessed and sustained us while we have been here.

God makes our seemingly impossible mission, possible. I recently won second place in an essay contest sponsored by the Museum here in Coshocton. It was about Coshocton history in the 1700’s. I wrote about the Lenape tribe that lived here. Many of them were converted to Christianity by the missionaries. Their culture was not that different from the Christian way of life. Their Great Spirit is very similar to God. It surprised me to learn about the history of this place where God brought us in 1999. I have entered many writing contests and gotten nowhere. I knew that God helped me research and write this article.

God told me when we were in Greensburg, Indiana, “You are moving east where three rivers meet.” The Muskingum, Walhonding, and Tuscarawas rivers meet in Coshocton County. It is a unique place here in Ohio and in this country. The Native American tribes named these rivers, Coshocton and many cities around here.

I am grateful not only on Thanksgiving but every day. I am grateful to be in a wonderful marriage to my best friend, Ron. I am grateful for my lovely daughters: Liz, Michelle and Lisa who have become strong, caring, hard working young women. I am grateful for my grandchildren. I am probably one of the proudest Nanas that exist today. I am grateful to be a 19 year cancer survivor. Even though I do have health problems, I don’t have spiritual problems. I am happy every day I am here. I see the beauty of the earth and the wonder in life.

Sometimes the challenges of life seem impossible to meet, but with God’s help we cannot only survive, but overcome.

Ohio is a beautiful place to live (view from our front window).

Category: Wisdom and Encouragement