Between the ages of 11 and 16, I was a Boy Scout. I became an Eagle Scout in 1970. We dedicated a chapter in our book to the experience. Recently, at our church, I met a scout who was just about to achieve his Eagle Scout rank. I congratulated him and told him, pretty much without thinking, that a lot of girls were looking for Boy Scouts like him. Upon further reflection, my being an Eagle Scout, never got me one date or any girl interested. However, there must be some reason that all three of my daughters told me that they wanted to marry an Eagle Scout.
It’s natural that I’m the man they want on a camping trip, but I believe there is more to it. The Scout Law is that ‘a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.’ That sounds like a pretty good guy who might stand up under the rigors of marriage.
The scout oath is ‘on my honor I will do my best to help the Girl Scouts get undressed’ (JOKE). Sorry, but that’s the version I remember (#Boy Scouts not saints). The real version says things about honoring God and country and more great things for a future spouse.
Most people know the scout motto of ‘be prepared’. What girl doesn’t want their man to carry some Kleenex or at least napkins and a map in the car? Or maybe you find some great tomatoes at the road stand on your trip. How great is it when he pulls out his pocket knife. And when you cut your finger with the knife, out come the Band-Aids.
You get the point. While girls might be attracted to a charmer or a bad boy, when it comes to a life partner, they need to focus on a guy with some solid character (like a Boy Scout should be).
There are other scouting attributes which help a guy in marriage. Scouting helps you to develop a broader base of knowledge. The longer you stay in the program, the more you are asked to learn. There are required badges like first aide, Citizenship, and fitness. Cooking is also required. Crystal’s grandmother approved of me instantly when she found out I could cook. She told Crystal as a little girl to find a guy that can cook or she would be stuck with preparing all of the meals.
In addition to the badges required to become an Eagle Scout, there are also electives. The list of choices is ponderous; everything from Chemistry, to Aviation, to Archaeology. If like Crystal and me, you plan to be in this marriage thing for the long haul, you want a partner with multiple interests. Otherwise, what will you talk about?
There are other bonuses, little things, which can make a big difference. Scouts learn not to panic when they get lost. They learn to mentor others, without being condescending. This is critical in marriage. They learn patience. This is a critical marriage attribute. But you ask, how do scouts learn patience? I once sat at an intersection for three hours listing all of the traffic violations. There were a lot of them, especially rolling stops. I spent another three hours with my scouting friend and neighbor, Ron Pozdol. I believe we were going for Insect Life merit badge. For three hours we watched all the activities of an ant hill. At one point, we were so bored Ron tore the wings off a moth and we watched the gruesome one sided battle. In the end it was dead moth down the hole.
The point is that a girl needs a guy who can be patient. I find shopping with Crystal a lot like watching that ant hill. Instead of ants, it’s people and there are no deaths in the process. However, inevitably (some time later) the moth goes down the hole, or rather, Crystal picks out the pair of shoes she needs and will complain about until we repeat the process.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not complaining. It’s all part of earning the Good Husband badge. You never actually earn the badge, but it’s fun to keep trying. Here’s a message on patience for guys. If you can’t wait for the make up to go on, you probably won’t be there when it comes off (wink).
One final lesson you learn in scouting is recovering from disasters. When the tornado hit Oak Lawn in 1967 (also in our memoir) our troop sprang into action. For weeks, after the crisis, we collected food and helped with the cleanup.
In marriage, as I’ve said before, happily ever after is a myth. In fact, you will go through times when you feel like life is just one disaster followed by another. It’s at those times you and your spouse need to stick together and complete the required cleanup.
Bottom line girls, you don’t really need to marry a scout, just a guy who acts like one (#Good Character).
One thing scouting did for me was to give me a greater appreciation for God’s creations in nature. Take time to enjoy it and your life will be fuller.