I usually play golf by myself. I will never be very good. I play for the exercise and to be outdoors. I used to just walk, but with golf, the walk becomes a game. The other day I played with a friend. Immediately I noticed the flaws in his swing. His address was wrong and he lifted his head immediately after his swing. This combination meant that he would be prone to inconsistency. For the most part I kept my comments to myself. After all, I am no great golfer. My swing is anything but a work of art. It is also far from a natural swing. I probably review about a dozen basic principles before each swing. Frequently I forget one or another during the swing. Besides, who wants to be told repeatedly, that they are doing something wrong? I know I would hate it.
When all was said and done, I believe we both had a good time. We vowed to try again sometime. After the round I thought about the principle of restraint. In general most people just say whatever is on their mind with little regard for others. In marriage this can lead to devastating results. Sure you can see flaws in your mate. No one is perfect. Even if they were that doesn’t mean you couldn’t find something to criticize. We are all brought up differently and value things to a different degree. For example, say your spouse is the most loving, caring person in the world. However, according to you, they spend too much time helping others and people are taking advantage of her. I am sure at some point these traits attracted you, but now they must be altered.
I point this out as a warning. Crystal will tell you that I am partly talking to myself. Do not get caught up in a cycle of criticism. Explain your feelings and concern for your spouse and then focus on something else. Your own problems might be a good place to start. Like I said nobody is perfect. Is there an area where a change in your attitude or actions might be helpful? Are there areas your spouse has pointed out where you can improve? The Bible says to remove the log from your own eye before trying to remove the twig from someone else’s. That is good advice, especially in marriage. In golf as in life, it’s always easier to see and fix the problems with someone else’s swing than with your own.
I hate when that happens