Marriage Memoir by Ron and Crystal Meinstein

Marriage is not a natural state. In the animal kingdom there are few examples of animals which mate for life. Are animals smarter than us? When you think about it, for a marriage to be totally successful it must end in death. Where is the motivation? Like I said previously it takes a constant input of energy to make a marriage work. Who needs that kind of commitment? Once you are married you are no longer free to do what you want when you want. Why give up your freedom for what some would call a life sentence? Those are good thoughts to consider before abandoning all hope and taking the plunge.

Crystal and I have been married for over thirty four years. In addition, and more unusual, that is thirty-four, with few exceptions, happy years. I can honestly say my life would not have been as good without her. We were lucky to find each other. However, I believe there is more involved here than luck. That is part of my motivation for putting this out over the big bad internet, where it is subject to criticism and ridicule. I want to use whatever small amount of knowledge and wisdom, with which God may have blessed Crystal and me, to help others.

In our book only one out of the twenty-nine chapters, the last one, was dedicated specifically to the topic of why marriages work (or don’t). There should probably be an entire library on the subject. This blog will have to suffice for now.

Welcome back. I thought I would start today with a little information about our publishing efforts. Back in 2001 Crystal attended a writer’s conference in Columbus, Ohio. She met and spoke with one of the speakers who was an agent from “Writer’s House”. Crystal was very impressed. She felt strongly that that would be a great place to start. She even told me that she felt that maybe God was leading us in that direction. We are Christians, and believe that while much of life is random and dominated by our choices, occasionally, for those who listen, God may whisper in our ears. Well so far randomness seems to be winning out. We have written two separate queries and the agency has shown little interest. Crystal however, insisted on giving this agency one final opportunity for the correct decision. They are apparently very busy and the person she met has not even been given an opportunity to personally reject our proposal. She started the E-mail query, addressed to his assistant, with “Are you sure?” Bold right? Well not really. We are extremely confident in this project. It is unique, thought provoking, full of humor, and many relatable anecdotes. It is six separate stories spanning at least four generations. It has three separate and enduring love stories. If nothing else, I believe that, anyone who reads this book will want to know more about their own parents and grand parents.

As a scientist I believe in entropy. The second law of thermodynamics simply states that everything tends toward randomness. Marriage and relationships are no exception. They take a constant input of energy to maintain. That may be the most critical thing for people contemplating marriage to realize. It is also where the next installment to this blog will start.

“If you want my opinion about the greatest problem in America, it is not the struggling economy or terrorism, but the need for better family values and stronger marriages. No matter what you go through in life it always seems better if there is love and stability in your marriage.” That is a quote from the book One Hundred and fifty Years of Marriage. Please don’t try to look it up. It has yet to be published. That is one of the reasons I have decided to write this blog. I want to provide a running commentary about efforts to get our book published. When I say our book, the “our” refers to me of course, and my wonderful wife of thirty four years, Crystal.

The other reason for this blog is to address issues related to marriage in America today. The greater part of the book has little to do with this topic. The predominant part of this work is a memoir, of sorts. During the two plus year process of researching and writing the memoir, my heart has been turned toward the greater problem of marriage stability. Why don’t marriages today last? Is there anything that can be done about it? Why did the three marriages I wrote about last? I hope that this blog can serve as a forum for those topics. You can expect our installments about twice a week. Feel free to comment. While I have never done this before, and am not big on computerized social media, I believe an interactive format will be more productive for those who choose to participate.

First though, a little about our book is in order. I heard somewhere that stranger things occur in real life than in fiction. I don’t know if I believe that, but I know of some pretty strange occurrences which did occur. To give you a better idea of what I am talking about, and to conclude this first installment, I will include the following excerpt from the book’s introduction.

”If you like irony and human-interest stories, you have found the right book. For just a little taste, try the following. My dad was raised as a German Jew until he was thirteen when he came to America to live with his uncle. He went back to Germany with the U.S. army as a counter intelligence agent during the war. That is where he met my mom, a German farm girl.

Crystal’s parents met in the far more traditional setting of a U.S.O. club in Wisconsin. When my father-in-law was sent to war the next day, they wound up falling in love by mail.

As for my wife and I, we are a couple of baby boomers who grew up about fifteen miles apart in the suburbs of Chicago. We met about one hundred and fifty miles from our homes when we attended a party at the college we attended. Ours isn’t a dramatic story of growing up and living through a war; that is unless you count Viet Nam.” That should give you a basic idea about the book and why it needs to be published. We welcome your comments. Have a great day!