Marriage Memoir by Ron and Crystal Meinstein

            The other day, as I was on one of my ever more frequent searches for my car keys, it hit me. Why is it that as we get older, we are supposed to be wiser? From my youth I’ve been accused of being a “wise guy”. But I think that is something else. These days I’m slower, more forgetful, but wiser? As a youth, I remember thinking my parents had all of the answers. Then in young adulthood, I thought my parents were outdated, and I had all of the answers. Later, as I became a parent, I finally realized that nobody, me in particular, had all of the answers. Many times, I couldn’t even figure out the correct question to ask.

            I think that is the first step toward true wisdom. When you realize and admit your own limitation, you are on the right path. That being said, more and more our adult children seek our reassurance and advice. They know much of what we’ve been through, survived, and accomplished. Probably the best advice I give is trust and seek God’s plan for your life. Second from “Finding Nemo”: just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. From “Galaxy Quest”: Never give up, never surrender. It’s funny how much good advice you find in cheesy movies.

My own parents were always a good example of living responsibly, and always supportive with advice, and whatever help they could give. However, I never really knew my grandparents. I had some great aunts and uncles whom I loved, and saw way too infrequently. So now as grandpa to seven, going on eight young people, I am in an unfamiliar position.

I know that both Crystal and I want to have good relationships with each and every grandchild. We want to help whenever possible, and witness with our lives, words and deeds. Our daughters and their husbands are doing amazing jobs raising them, but welcome our involvement.

Our oldest grandson recently graduated from The Ohio State University. Our oldest granddaughter is entering her sophomore year at Kent State. Recently I’ve begun sending them some unsolicited words of encouragement and advice. I do remember many of the challenges, temptations, and questions at that I had at that stage of life. I remember getting similar advice at that age. Sometimes I listened, sometimes I didn’t. I insisted on making my share of mistakes. I think that’s part of becoming an adult. All I really want to accomplish is to let them know that someone, other than their parents, loves, cares about, and wants the best for them.

They don’t read this blog, so let’s keep this between you and me. I am sharing today because, there maybe someone in your life who needs to know that you care. If you can’t come up with original quotes, just pick a subject and Google. You know there were a few wise people (different than wise guys) before me. You should probably stick with historical figures. I’m not so sure you can find much wisdom in today’s leaders.

I’ve included a few of my words of wisdom for your consideration.

1. I believe that one sure sign you are a grown-up is when you stop blaming your parents for who you are, and realize you can take responsibility to improve. Sadly, some people; you may know some; never get there.
2. What you ultimately become in life isn’t nearly as important as who you become.
3. In life you will face many forks in the road. Whatever fork you take, just eat what’s on your plate and be grateful. Remember, there are always people who would love what you throw out.

            They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, here is one invention I just needed to share with all of you regular marriagememoir readers. You are in on the ground floor. There is no charge, and this idea could save you thousands of dollars a year. 

If you are one of the millions of avid northern golfers who feel you must travel to Myrtle Beach, Georgia, or Florida each winter to get your fix, I have great news. I have invented a great new game you can play right where you live. I call it Snolf, which is short for snow golf.

            All you will need is your favorite iron (I prefer my six iron), a dozen or so balls, a small gardening spade, and a snow/what snow, attitude. You simply go to your favorite golf course, put your ball gently on top of the snow in the tee area, and have at it. Watch carefully where the ball enters the snow, walk up to the spot, and dig up your ball. It helps if you find the entry point (be careful not to disturb burrowing rodents). Replace it on the top of the snow for your second swing, and continue until you hit the green. From there you count your score and move on to the next hole. There is none of that annoying putting involved. Since the ball doesn’t travel as well in the cold, you simply triple the normal par to see how you are doing. Also, I have decided that there is no penalty for a lost ball, as you will lose some, guaranteed. The game is over when you either finish the course or have run out of balls.

            Snolfers will appreciate the many advantages over regular golf. For one the game is free, since there is nobody at the course in the winter to collect your greens fee. You can also play at your own pace, since the course will most likely be significantly less crowded. Trudging through the snow will also help your cardiovascular system. Replacing your divots while recommended, is not required. Also, most courses are extremely beautiful, and vastly underappreciated in the winter.

            In all fairness, the few possible negatives should probably be noted. First, extra clothing, which you might be inclined to wear, could inhibit your swing or your ability to hang onto your club. Second, (my lawyer insists I add this) you could, potentially, be arrested for trespassing. And last, but not least, its freaking cold out there!!!

Disclaimer: While I have not, as of today played Snoft, I would love to hear, and gladly share, the stories from your first round.