Father’s Day came and went again. That’s some 30 plus for me. I know the exact figure but; I have learned not to reveal women’s ages. I have learned a few more things about women and raising good ones over the years.
My first lesson occurred while carrying my first, Elizabeth out of the hospital. I carried her proudly in one arm, like a football. I looked down, and she looked up. She seemed to convey a confidence that, I knew exactly what I was doing. I hadn’t a clue. Crystal had read the books, taken the classes, and baby sat. Besides that, it was a girl. I barely understood Crystal. This was a much smaller, and totally dependent version.
I was, however, motivated to learn. I changed my share of diapers. Got up occasionally for night duties. Fortunately, Crystal knew all of the rules. Did you know you have to wipe in a certain direction; and you can’t give them even a little bite of your hamburger?
Then, just as you think you are getting the hang of it, they change. You are ecstatic as they start to crawl, and they walk. That is, until they start to move closer to an electric cord, or the stove, etc. Then come the gates, locks and outlet protectors.
They start to talk. Again, you are so proud; until they start to say NO! repeatedly, or become overly demanding or defiant. But then at the same time, they can be so sweet, scream Daddy, Daddy, when you magically appear after a hard day. You just can’t help but love them.
Just when you think you might have a handle on things, along comes another one. Another girl! What was Crystal thinking???? OK…. I may have had some input. But for a while, that was a lot of diapers.
To my surprise, it wasn’t long before Elizabeth actually began to help with Michelle. She took her big sister role very seriously. Before she was four, she knew how to feed her and even change her. When the three of us (me and the two girls) went to the store, Liz would help me push the cart.
Crystal and I were blessed by two wonderful girls. Five years later, just when the routine is being established, along comes girl number three. This time I blame God. He has a sense of humor you know. Growing up, I remember complaining to Him that, I just didn’t understand girls. Now, they outnumbered us.
A lot happened over the next few years. Crystal insists she will write a book someday. I can just tell you that, living with that many females I learned a lot. First of all, even the quiet times, weren’t very quiet. Girls have a lot of words to use each day. But, on the plus side, you never have to wonder what they are thinking. Second, sometimes they just need you to listen. It takes patience. At times, I know I wasn’t. Occasionally, you need to wade through a lot of emotions to really understand what they are “really” saying. Finally, they are capable of great passion. That can go one of two ways. Enough said.
So, in the long run, Crystal and I have no regrets. Our girls turned into loving, responsible, dependable women. All have lived on their own. Two have wonderful families. And they all get along and support each other. Who could ask for more?
What is even better, is now, more than ever, they understand us, and a lot of things they might not have fully gotten when they were young. They frequently thank me (and Crystal) for all they learned. Elizabeth’s card this year mentioned, cooking, driving, sports, math, running errands, shopping, volunteering at church, appreciation of nature, and how to talk to anyone.
I look at parenting as a long-term experiment. In some ways you are learning along with your children. You can do all of the research you want, but in many instances, it comes down to trial and error. Being there for your kids is most important. Teach, discipline, and guide in love. As an adult, you realize one truth that you can’t teach them. The lessons they don’t learn in the safety of your home, and your protection, life will teach them. Our girls definitely get that now, and are grateful. We are too.
