Category Archives: Wisdom and Encouragement

God at Work

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In an earlier post, I bemoaned missing an opportunity to help an elderly lady when I had a chance. Well, God must have read it. He gave me another chance. This past Sunday, our student pastor, Michael Cormack, gave an inspired sermon about how God is at work even when circumstances don’t indicate His presence. I remembered his words later that day.

I was on my way home from visiting dad in Columbus. It is a 75 mile trip, and I almost always take the same route. This Sunday was an exception. It was a beautiful evening and I decided to take the scenic route. It’s not as fast, but passes through some picturesque hilly forests and farmland. It was about 8 PM and I was about four miles from home. I was passing the turnoff to Mohawk Dam. The sun was just setting, and inspiration hit. I felt that I had to drive the few extra miles to the dam for a photo op. When I arrived, the sun was in a perfect position, the sky was blue with a hint of orange, and, as always, the dam was a great foreground. I called Crystal to tell her of my whereabouts and plan. I got out of the car and began shooting. It felt good to get out of the car. It was wonderfully quiet and peaceful.

I had taken only a few pictures, when I saw a pretty young women walking directly toward me. She was, I would guess, mid thirties with long dark hair. Her face was red. She had obviously been crying. As I glanced down the hill, I noticed several other people making their way up. When she came up to me, I greeted her. She tried to hold back tears and asked what county we were in. I told her Coshocton. I immediately thought, oh, just a lost traveler needing directions. Well, I was right, and I was wrong. She, her husband, and their three kids were where they were supposed to be. Her husband, like me a former Eagle Scout, had taken his family on a twenty-five mile canoe trip down the Mohican and Walhonding Rivers. It wasn’t until they arrived at their destination that they realized that their car keys were back at the beginning in their second car.

The mom told me that she was responsible for forgetting the keys and felt horrible. She asked whether there was any Uber or taxi service in the area. At 8 O’clock on a Sunday, in Coshocton County, the sidewalks are rolled up and the roosters tucked in for the night. I told her not to worry; I could take them. She looked stunned. She offered to pay. I said ‘don’t be silly, that’s not necessary.’ ‘I told her I needed to call Crystal.’ When I did, Crystal just said, ‘of course, I needed to help, be careful.’ She would still be there when I got home.

So the husband, one daughter and I took the 25 mile trip through Coshocton and Holmes County’s back hills country. We followed his GPS instructions, not knowing where the destination was. We avoided the deer, the Amish, and a few tractors on the way. We had a nice talk in the car. They too were Christian. They were vacationing from the Cleveland area. Apparently, the father was trying to share some of his scouting skills with his family. His father had done the same when he was growing up, and it made a lasting impression. I related, since I had always done the same with Crystal and our girls. By the time we arrived, it was almost dark. They thanked me again and I was on my way home again. Since I finally knew where I was, I took a slightly simpler route home.

The chance of me being at that exact location at that time was incredibly small. Five minutes later, I would have been gone. When I regaled Crystal with the tale, she had the same reaction I did. It was God.

 

.Crystal’s Corner

When Ron and I were students at Bradley University we would go to one of the tallest buildings on campus and watch the sunset holding hands.  It was something that couples did because the Bradley campus was on a hill and known for beautiful sunsets.  Ever since then we have occasionally watched the sun set together and held hands and talked.

What happened on Sunday night with Ron was spiritual as well as earthly.  He was stopping to look at the sunset, the light, and ended up helping people who were lost as well.  He was on a hill as well.  To go up to a stranger today is risky, but I think the young mother was led to Ron by God.  I’m sure they had been praying for help and this was God’s response.

As Christians we need to be aware of what God wants us to do and where he wants us to be.  Sometimes we just get this push to go somewhere, to talk to someone, or to get involved. That is what Ron felt on Sunday night.  He responded and God’s will was done.

Ron and I often look at the sky and we are in awe of its beauty.  I tell the girls that “God paints us a new sky every day.”

I think that it is interesting that Ron was interrupted while taking a photograph of God’s sky to help some of His children.  Most people don’t like to be interrupted, but sometimes God stops us because we are needed elsewhere.

Keep looking up and believe that the Creator who made the earth and the sky also sees and hears us and knows our troubles.

Psalm 121:1 I will lift my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help   King James Version

Pictures taken just prior to God’s interruption.

Words of Wisdom

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I just got back from Kentucky. It was an overnight to take care of some business dealing with Crystal’s dad’s estate. We stayed with Michelle, Alex, and our new grandbaby, Ayla. As a rule, I always try to be helpful. They mentioned their fight with sleep deprivation and Ayla’s lack of consideration for their needs. I told them they would have to adapt to her. It would take time, but to take heart, for ‘this too shall pass’. I also mentioned that, now that she is a mother, Michelle’s days of being right are over. Someone would always be around to tell her that she is doing it wrong. I told her it wouldn’t be easy, but I had faith in her. She and Alex would make good decisions. I told Alex to always agree with his wife. It will make his life soooo much easier. If she needs your help, she will ask.

On the way home, I thought to myself, how did I get so smart? When did I switch from total uncertainty to the font of all knowledge? I think the difference is distance and time. Once the last child moves out, (Crystal will cry when she reads this) you have something you haven’t had for years….time to reflect and process. I suppose that is why the generals aren’t actually on the front lines. They are more effective away from the action, where they can process and plan.

OK, now that I think about it, if I had to give one key point, it would be to decide on what you and your spouse believe, and parent accordingly. The largest hurdle for Crystal and me was deciding rules we both agreed on, and consequences (both positive and negative) for those rules. We knew we needed to agree and be consistent or the kids would pick us apart. We spent time almost every day reviewing our progress and if necessary, adjusting our strategy.

However, advice is cheap, and worth what you pay for it. I don’t think our kids know that though. They still think we have a few answers. Maybe we do. However, what they need to realize is that outside of never ending love and support, our job is done. The goal of parenting isn’t raising kids, it’s preparing responsible adults. What I failed to mention to Michelle is that her child is now totally dependent on her. But that will soon change. As years go by, it will be her job, along with her husband to decide when and how to release control, and promote independence. You need to be there to congratulate them when they succeed, and reassure them when they fail. When you are done, they will let you know. After that, and for the rest of your life,  they will still be your kids, but they will be grownups. You need to treat them as such.

Sounds like we really knew what we were doing, right? We were perfect parents. Now I get why I have all of this wisdom to share…..Except….it didn’t always work. Our kids still had problems, got into trouble, and we weren’t always consistent. Occasionally, Crystal and I wouldn’t agree and would argue about how to handle things.

Reality has set in. I am really not the font of anything except maybe ego. Parenting is a struggle. The good news is that my advice (worth every penny) was good. For a new mother, like Michelle, I know it was reassuring to know that in a little while her baby will adapt and sleep through the night. As the child grows, there will be new challenges, but she will adapt. She was raised to be able to adapt and overcome. I have no doubt that she will always put her child’s needs ahead of her own. I think that is the simple definition of a good parent. I will continue to give my two cents. Some habits are impossible to break. But I know, and I think she knows, she is ready, and with God’s help, she and Alex will be wonderful parents.

Left to right, daughter Liz holding Addelyn, My dad, daughter Michelle holding Ayla

This was at a Greek restaurant in Columbus Ohio for Easter celebration.

Mission Possible versus Mission Impossible

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Crystal always has a lot to say. It wasn’t until we had been married for a couple of years that I realized the disparity in our conversations. We had just bought one of those new fangled answering machines (yes we’re old). I was in the habit of calling home during my lunch hour. One day the machine recorded one of our conversations. Crystal would say two or three sentences followed by me saying ‘I see’ or ‘I agree’ or ‘uha’, etc. Then she would continue. Listening to the tape that evening was a shock. I’m not complaining. I think she just has more words to get out than me.

She is also a more prolific writer. So the next couple of blogs are dedicated to my better half. I have never been much of a “Mission Impossible” fan, but love her take in the following.

Crystal’s Corner

My brother and I watched “Mission Impossible” when we were growing up.  I especially like the music and the actors like Leonard Nemoy and Barbara Baines.  Sometimes the stories were too violent for me, but I liked that the team would figure out what to do and carry it out.  It was usually surprising and intriguing.

We are called as Christians to be on missions for God.  If you choose to accept it, because of Jesus, those missions are made possible (“With God all things are possible.”).  Life is not predictable or logical.  Many things have happened in our lives that seemed to make no sense at all.  Later when we looked back at them we can often see that God had the plan all along. Ron and I have written in our memoir about our lives and our parents’ lives and we can see God’s hand in all of our lives.  It is beautiful to see this.  I am so grateful for God’s blessings and His leading us from situation to situation.  I am considering writing a second memoir about our ten years in Indiana; because God did so much for us there. He led us there in the first place, brought the church and people to help us, and blessed us many times.  He has led us here to Ohio and blessed and sustained us while we have been here.

God makes our seemingly impossible mission, possible.  I recently won second place in an essay contest sponsored by the Museum here in Coshocton.  It was about Coshocton history in the 1700’s.  I wrote about the Lenape tribe that lived here.  Many of them were converted to Christianity by the missionaries.  Their culture was not that different from the Christian way of life.  Their Great Spirit is very similar to God.  It surprised me to learn about the history of this place where God brought us in 1999.  I have entered many writing contests and gotten nowhere.  I knew that God helped me research and write this article.

God told me when we were in Greensburg, Indiana, “You are moving east where three rivers meet.”  The Muskingum, Walhonding, and Tuscarawas rivers meet in Coshocton County.  It is a unique place here in Ohio and in this country. The Native American tribes named these rivers, Coshocton and many cities around here.

I am grateful not only on Thanksgiving but every day.  I am grateful to be in a wonderful marriage to my best friend, Ron.  I am grateful for my lovely daughters: Liz, Michelle and Lisa who have become strong, caring, hard working young women.  I am grateful for my grandchildren.  I am probably one of the proudest Nanas that exist today.  I am grateful to be a 19 year cancer survivor.  Even though I do have health problems, I don’t have spiritual problems.  I am happy every day I am here.  I see the beauty of the earth and the wonder in life.

Sometimes the challenges of life seem impossible to meet, but with God’s help we cannot only survive, but overcome.

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Ohio is a beautiful place to live (view from our front window).

 

 

Not so Golden Years by Phil Osophy

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Life for Crystal and me has recently been about taking care of our aging dads. Baby boomers are the current sandwich generation. We still have some responsibilities in helping our children and are also responding to the needs of our aging parents. However, as much as I hate to admit it, we are getting ever closer to the sandwich’s bottom slice of bread. Already our children are deciding who will take care of Crystal and who ‘gets stuck’ with me. As of now, Liz gets me (sorry Brad) and Lisa gets Crystal. I’ll let you know when that debate is over. Of course, you might question, as I did, why in no proposed plan were old Crystal and old Ron together during their “golden years”. I’m sure that is some kind of oversight; or maybe not?

“Golden years” might be a misnomer. What about physical/mental decline and increasing dependence, is golden? You can ask my dad, there is nothing golden about it. But maybe there is some purpose. Early in my nursing career, I was giving a bed bath to a ninety plus year old lady. She screamed and complained. She no longer understood what I was doing or why I was doing it. I felt like God gave me at least a partial answer. At our weakest moments, we are giving others a chance to serve and show love. I thought of that often as a nurse. I was proud of the opportunities I had to make lives better. I think of it now as our dads need more and more assistance.

Sometimes, however, it’s just hard. One day at a time, that’s the way to live; that’s all we can handle. But, at times, we can’t help ourselves. Have you ever been lying in bed and unable to stop the tapes in your head? We run the various scenarios over and over. The right answers elude us (by the way it’s currently 4:30 AM).  The ‘what ifs’ become dominant. What are we doing and why are we doing it? The answers become more and more difficult. Maybe Solomon had it right. Life is meaningless. Or is it? Maybe there is some ultimate purpose in life that is above and beyond what we can grasp. Surely the great philosophers must have the true answers.

I was in a philosophy class for a total of one day. I started to read the text book, got my assigned reading list, and decided, before the class ended, that there had to be a less painful alternative. This was supposed to be my fluff elective class. Reading six books dedicated to a subject I couldn’t care less about and writing papers was not achieving my purpose (fluff). I dropped the class immediately and got into a German film class. I thought we would be watching movies and talking about them. Of course, according to our instructor, you can’t ‘really’ appreciate the films unless you first read the books from which they came. Of course then you should write a paper or four papers comparing and contrasting the books and movies. I couldn’t win.

So that was that. In four plus years of college, and many more years of life, I never learned anything about philosophy. What I did learn, however, was something equally useless. I learned that, my least favorite movie of all times was the political satire Kafka (Castle) by Thomas Mann (a good German). As bad as the movie was, the book was ten times worse. It was a lot like the movie but took so, so, so much longer. But what do I know? Mr. Mann won the Nobel Prize for literature for his effort. Little did Mr. Mann know that, many years later, his works would be used to torture college students. By the way, I think I got an A in that class. I conned Crystal, whom I was dating at the time, into typing my term paper. I remember nothing, save the fact that I hated Kafka. Oh and there was also this guy named Siddhartha (book/movie by Hermann Hesse, another good German). He was a man who walked around a lot and had opinions about everything. I later found out that his other name was Gautama Buddha, and he started some religion.

Last Sunday, our pastor got my attention with his sermon entitled Transcendent Purpose. He made some fairly well reasoned arguments that Jesus was the only person to have a purpose beyond the normal human experience (transcendent), that will never be lost (because he is coming back). So that’s it for the rest of us? We live; we suffer; we die. It all seems quite futile, doesn’t it? Each day we are one day closer to Heaven. At least that’s something to look forward to. However, we still have to live each day. We still have aging parents who want answers when we are fresh out. Some of us, who are blessed with children, are asked for even more answers from them. Heaven help us, if they ever find out that, we too are just surviving, and are making this stuff up as we go along.

Maybe the only real answer is from another movie, Disney’s The Lion King. Influenced by William Shakespeare‘s Hamlet , it’s the story of betrayal, murder, and a young lion’s journey into adulthood (a great story for kids). Simba, the young lion, eventually takes his rightful place as the king of the jungle. He is told by the ghost of his father that life is a circle and he has always been destined for his position.

Simba’s travels took him many places. He made lifelong friends, found his future mate, and learned much from those around him. He helped those he could along the way. In the end, he realized that between what he had learned from his parents and life in general, he could be the good and rightful leader of his clan. He had evolved into the leader he was always destined to be. He would rule his extended pride with the love and wisdom of a truly great leader. Now, while the wisdom came from a combination of his parent’s teachings, and his life experiences, I believe that the love came through his parents and from God. I believe that is our true transcendent purpose in life, to pass on our love. Hate is everywhere. If you doubt it, watch the news sometime. We have to start somewhere. Showing more love won’t put a nickel in your pocket or change the bully at work. The only person you can really change is you. A random act of kindness here, a kind word there, a hug for your child or spouse, forgive a neighbor, tell the truth in love to that relative, and who knows what will happen. If that’s how you choose to live, you are part of the solution. If that’s how you live, your life may not have transcendent purpose; but you will have made a positive difference. Your little corner of the world will be at least slightly better for you having been there. Your influence will continue even when you are gone. That’s what I truly believe. Of course, I’ve already told you that I’m making this up as I go along.

If Descartes, Nietzsche, etc. have a better way to live please let me know. Maybe passing on love is a common theme in philosophy. I wouldn’t know. They didn’t cover it in my day of class. Sometimes I think about taking a philosophy class, but then I eat something, and the feeling goes away.

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The last time Crystal and my dad were together Christmas 2013

Discouragement and Encouragement: Crystal’s Corner

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There are times when I get very discouraged not only about getting the memoir published, but about life in general.  Dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and more illnesses is discouraging.  There are days when I can barely walk around, I don’t have any energy, and have pain.  Then I take the pain killers and that makes me even more tired.  CFS causes exhaustion which cannot be helped by resting or taking a nap.  Fortunately, I read a lot, write some, make crafts and sew. Some of these activities I do even lying down.  I also always feel fortunate that I am a Christian.  Nothing can separate us from God’s love and help and also we have a Savior.  I have a relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  All three are comforting to me.  Also, God leads me and Ron in many ways and we follow.

What encourages me is the beauty of the earth.  I go out on our large porch and swing on the swing.  There are many birds around which are usually singing and making noise.  We have starlings, robins, sparrows, doves, and even hummingbirds.  A humming bird comes to our petunias hanging on our porch.   Sometimes I see it from the living room.  I also am very very creative. I am making original origami designs: birds, flowers and more.  I am considering doing a book or at least a magazine article.  I make 3D cards, beaded hangings and more items using origami figures.
Right now I am sewing a purple satin dress for Lisa for Michelle’s wedding.  It is a challenge, but I enjoy sewing and so far my sewing machine and I are friends.  I am also working on a dress and possibly jacket for myself.  I have also been making some clothes for myself from some of my mom’s clothing.  My mom made many of her dresses, blouses and skirts.  I am redesigning some of them so I can wear them.  The fabric is still very nice so I can use it in my clothing and/or quilts.

I get great satisfaction making crafts and also baking occasionally.  I am also de-cluttering.  I am going through bags of mail, magazines, books, etc that have accumulated around the house.  It is like going back in time.  Most of it, I am recycling, but I am finding letters, cards, designs, and some money.  It takes time and is tedious, but I am making a difference.

Ron and I help each other not to be discouraged.  Usually when one of us is down, the other one is up and can help.  We also laugh everyday so that helps.  I have been reading three books by the same author.  They are Jesus Lives, Jesus Calling and Jesus Today.  They are devotional books with Bible verses.  You can read one or more a day. The author has written about her life and her Christian walk in the beginning of each book.  These writings are very powerful.  She is a gifted writer.  We also like Daily Guideposts and Guideposts Magazine as well.

I also like to watch funny TV shows and movies.  I especially like Doris Day movies and Meg Ryan movies like You’ve Got Mail.  I watch meTV because they show That Girl, Carol Burnett shows, Love Boat and other good shows from the past.  I remember watching these shows with Mom and Jeannette when we were growing up.  They are good memories.  I am including some Bible verses with this blog that are encouraging also.

Isaiah 41: 10  So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let  your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

1 Peter 5:7  Cast all you anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Ron’s Perspective

I believe discouragement is part of life. No one lives a happy life only happy moments. As Crystal vaguely points out, what you focus on gets bigger. She doesn’t spend her days saying woe is me. She does what she can, and does it well. She is seldom discouraged for any length of time. Neither am I.

In our marriage, Crystal plays the flower and I am the bee. Even though retired, I seldom stay in one place, but am constantly busy. I could complain about doing more work around the house, running errands, or the stress continually making and breaking plans based on Crystal’s health. Instead, for the most part (believe me, not always), I am grateful that God has put us together and made me the healthy one. I don’t really mind taking care of Crystal because I am the lucky one. Besides, marriage isn’t about keeping score, it’s about helping each other.

Yesterday we took a three hundred mile round trip to a national quilt exhibit at the Dairy Barn (no cows, just a name) in Athens, Ohio. It is an art quilt show called Quilt National which happens every other year and Crystal, as an art quilter, wanted to see it. She enjoyed the show and I drove around exploring and taking pictures. We stopped at a new Mexican restaurant on the way home and talked about various topics on the trip. It was a great day.

Another source of encouragement which could otherwise discourage us is our book. It is really very good. Someday, in God’s time, it will be published. Our next post will be the 87th on this web site. It is an update on our progress. Until then remember, how you feel about your life depends on what you focus on. As much as possible, focus on the positive. Also, each day, go out of your way to help encourage someone else.

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This is the roof of the Dairy Barn. I just thought it was interesting.

Give More Thanks

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            Like so many families during the holidays we celebrated multiple Thanksgivings. As mentioned in our last blog we spent our actual Thursday Thanksgiving with Crystal’s Dad. We had a second and larger celebration on the following Sunday at our house. Our three daughters, four grandkids and my dad were all in attendance.

            I’m not as stupid as I used to be. We have girls who are capable of helping. I made the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and a couple of salads. Crystal made a dessert. The girls made the rest of what was a truly bountiful feast.

            It was about half way through our dinner that my dad tried to get my attention. He praised the entire meal. He made a special point to mention the beet salad. It reminded him of Mimi (mom). Well it should; I learned it from her. It was one of the many traditional dishes, which mom used to make on a regular basis. I learned how to make them from her and am putting together a book of some of our favorites. To me these represent our family and traditions which should be passed down.

            Over the next week as I had more time to reflect on our celebration. I realized that as I grew up, Mimi was the one who did all of the cooking. I knew how tired I got making about half of the meal. Every Thanksgiving, as I grew up, she would put together just as many dishes for dad and me as it took our whole family to create. Typically dad and I would spend about a half hour eating as much as we could, and then watch a football game as mom did the dishes. She worked from dawn to dusk for a half hour dinner and a rather meager moment of appreciation.

            It’s only now that I can truly appreciate the sacrifices and seemingly endless energy that mom used to serve dad and my needs for all of those years. If you asked her, however, I know she would insist that it was no sacrifice at all. It was just her way to show love. That kind of love you can never pay back. You can only try to pay it forward.

I only hope that someday our kids know just how much they were loved.

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Mom Dad and I after New Years 2011

 

One Man’s Trash is Another’s Treasure

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Something interesting happened this week. Our youngest daughter was true to her word. She cleaned out the back room. I mean she really cleaned. This is a big deal for several reasons. First, Crystal, being a creative person, has a hard time getting rid of things. She always thinks about repurposing everything. She is, however, working on the problem. She gave Lisa and me full control over the decisions about the room. This was a big step for her.

The second problem is our cat, which sleeps in the room at night. While there were four litters in the room, for some reason none were suitable for his highness. He has always preferred random relief of bowel and bladder around the room. If it were up to me he would have been given his freedom years ago. I would have supported his rights for freedom anywhere else in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, my authority is limited, and as in any marriage, there are some things it’s just better to let go. In this case, I just let the thing go all around the room.

I helped drag all of the first edition books, cleaning supplies, ruined cloths, etc. out to the garbage. To my surprise, as I was dragging a box, a lady walked up to me. She introduced herself to me as a neighbor and asked what I was doing. I explained the situation, including the cat part. The next words out of her mouth were a shock. “Is it OK if I bring my truck here and go through the trash?” I said sure, but did you hear the part about the cat. She explained that I had very good trash. She would be careful about what she took and clean it thoroughly. I had never thought about trash being good or bad, just trash. I told her she was welcome to whatever she wanted. Furthermore, she gave me her name and number for any future treasure dumps. She then hugged me and went to get her husband and truck. To my surprise she was earnestly happy about the find. We had reclaimed our back room and made someone happy at the same time. Life, and people for that matter, never ceases to amaze me.

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Enjoy the Summer!

Fix Your Own Swing First

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I usually play golf by myself. I will never be very good. I play for the exercise and to be outdoors. I used to just walk, but with golf, the walk becomes a game. The other day I played with a friend. Immediately I noticed the flaws in his swing. His address was wrong and he lifted his head immediately after his swing. This combination meant that he would be prone to inconsistency. For the most part I kept my comments to myself. After all, I am no great golfer. My swing is anything but a work of art. It is also far from a natural swing. I probably review about a dozen basic principles before each swing. Frequently I forget one or another during the swing. Besides, who wants to be told repeatedly, that they are doing something wrong? I know I would hate it.

When all was said and done, I believe we both had a good time. We vowed to try again sometime. After the round I thought about the principle of restraint. In general most people just say whatever is on their mind with little regard for others. In marriage this can lead to devastating results. Sure you can see flaws in your mate. No one is perfect. Even if they were that doesn’t mean you couldn’t find something to criticize. We are all brought up differently and value things to a different degree. For example, say your spouse is the most loving, caring person in the world. However, according to you, they spend too much time helping others and people are taking advantage of her. I am sure at some point these traits attracted you, but now they must be altered.

I point this out as a warning. Crystal will tell you that I am partly talking to myself. Do not get caught up in a cycle of criticism. Explain your feelings and concern for your spouse and then focus on something else. Your own problems might be a good place to start. Like I said nobody is perfect. Is there an area where a change in your attitude or actions might be helpful? Are there areas your spouse has pointed out where you can improve? The Bible says to remove the log from your own eye before trying to remove the twig from someone else’s. That is good advice, especially in marriage. In golf as in life, it’s always easier to see and fix the problems with someone else’s swing than with your own.

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I hate when that happens

Thank God for Mothers

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Yesterday my pastor lost his mother. It was no surprise. She had been on HOSPIS for a couple of weeks. I know that for a long time now the pastor and his father have been doing their best to take care of this wonderful woman. I have a good idea of what they are going through. Under very similar circumstances I lost my mom last year. At the end there was unbelievable pain, and yet somehow, relief. There is a hole in your life that nothing can ever fill. Yet you have a sense of peace, knowing the one you love is no longer suffering, and in a better place. I don’t know what I will say to him when I see him at the memorial service. It will probably be something lame like ‘so sorry for your loss’. Don’t get the wrong idea, we are close. I consider him a close friend. We play and follow sports together, support each other, and encourage each other in ministry. I just don’t think, at this time, there is anything I could say that would help.

       Dad and I were walking the other day. He has a really nice wooded metro park near his apartment. We probably walked a little more than a mile and a half. It was beautiful. There was every sign of spring. The trees were budding, birds were chirping and squirrels were playing like they didn’t have a cared in the world. With all of these signs of new life dad was quick to point out a bright new yellow dandelion. He reminded me of how special this little weed was to my mom. Actually the plant itself meant nothing; it was the fact that for years as a child I would pick one for her every spring. You would have thought it was made of real gold. She never forgot, well into her eighties, when she saw a dandelion she would tell anyone who would listen about my seemingly insignificant gesture and how much it meant to her. Yes there is a point where words don’t make a difference. Pain and suffering are short lived, but love lasts.

        As a Christian I believe, as the Bible says, ‘no greater love has a man than to give his life for another.’ What really are mothers called to do? Day in and day out, Mom if you’re watching, I’ll pick a dandelion for you.

A message for moms….The Lord has chosen you to a difficult and rewarding ministry. May ‘your yoke be easy and your burden be light.’

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Mom hated the cold. But for me she would have stood there all day.

Happy Mothers Day.