Category Archives: Past, Present and Future

Vacation Down Memory Lane in Chicago

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            Crystal and I recently took a trip to back to my old stomping grounds in the Chicago area. The trip had several purposes. First, it was the beginning of a new phase in our retired life. Now that dad has gone on to be with mom in heaven, we have a lot more free time. When I first married Crystal, I promised to show her more of the country and the world. We finally can, and are planning some trips. Second, our trip was to take care of some details of dad’s estate. Finally, we went to catch up with some friends and neighbors. That last one is the subject of today’s post.

            It’s amazing what memories can flood your brain when visiting former residences. The first day there, Crystal and I took an extended walk near the downtown Chicago lakefront. The walk almost proved too long for Crystal (which I heard about often). It’s amazing how much change there has been over the years. Many new and tall buildings, some over 100 stories tall, have overtaken the skyline. As we stood close to the new Millennium Park and looked north, I saw the building known as One Prudential Plaza (formerly, and as I remember The Prudential Building). It was built in 1955, about a year after I was born. When I was around five, at 41 stories, it was still the tallest building in the city. Dad took mom and me up to the top to see the view. The elevator almost knocked me over. I loved it. I thought the view amazing. The buildings looked plenty tall enough for me. Over the beautiful Grant Park, you could see the home of my Chicago Bears, Soldier Field. Surprisingly, it doesn’t look much different now than I remember. Although, it might closely resemble the Roman Coliseum, instead of feeding Christian’s to lions, this stadium is about feeding Lions (Detroit’s football team) to Bears (sorry, couldn’t resist).

            After a Chicago style pizza, we headed back to our hotel room in Plainfield. The trip back reminded us of what we don’t miss, the traffic. The next day it was on to Oak Lawn where I grew up. To our delight, Mrs. Baker was home. Living in the brown brick house directly across from my old house, she is probably the last original neighborhood resident I remember from my youth. They moved into that house in 1957. Two years later, we arrived. Now 90 years young, it was fun and sad to remember good old times and people while commiserating about all the changes in the area.

            My old playmate, Jeff Baker,was in from Colorado for a visit. The oldest of the Baker’s seven children, he seemed so far from the carefree adolescent with whom I used to play. Darting in and out of the room with his cell phone attached to his ear, he seemed so focused. Apparently his boss wouldn’t leave him alone while visiting his mom.

            As we walked out of the Baker’s house, I looked across the street at my old house. I was flooded with memories. The house itself looked pretty much the same. The yard, however, wasn’t nearly the pristine “Better House and Gardens” type dad always kept. The joke around the neighborhood was that a weed wouldn’t dare show up in his grass. He was so proud of his yard that he wouldn’t even trust me to mow it. Instead, I made my candy money mowing for some of the neighbors.

            Next to the Bakers live the Preisers. They were good friends to my parents, but weren’t home for our visit. Before, they moved in, the house was owned by the Pozdols. They too had a Ron. He was my age, their middle child, and we got along quite well. His father was our scout master and a really great mentor to us kids. I remember sitting in a field with Ron for three hours watching an ant hill for our ‘Insect Life’ merit badges. Ron got bored, so he ripped the wings off a moth to see what the ants would do. Oh the carnage! Fortunately, the battle didn’t last long and the boring peace returned.

            Next to the Pozdols lived the Browns. They were an older couple who had one son, Billy a few years older than me. Mrs. Brown was so nice to us kids all the time. That kind of balanced her often grumpy husband. Mr. Brown was a fixture on his front porch summer evenings, with a cigarette in one hand and a can of beer in the other. He yelled at us when we played softball in the street. “You kids know there is a park just a block away.” He worried we would hit a parked car, even after I assured him that we were too good, and aiming away from the cars.

            A couple houses down from the Browns were the Byczeks. They’re oldest; Tim was my best friend growing up. We went through school together and hung out whenever possible. With a couple other friends, our usual Friday nights were spent either playing pool in his basement or ping pong in mine. Occasionally, there was a movie night. John Wayne was our favorite star. After the movie, it was always McDonalds. Back then you could get a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, and get a nickel back from your dollar.

            Summers were spent playing softball in the nearby field, now a large school. Mom would be ready with Kool Aid and cookies. The rest of those fleeting years included school, scouting, and in the winter, skiing.  It seemed such a simpler time.

Finally it was time to leave. As we drove away for quite possibly the last time, I peered in the rear view mirror,  remembering the good times, and visits with Crystal and the girls. And then sadly, as we drove away, mom and dad waved from the porch. Mom usually was crying.

            When she was gone, for a few months, until we could move him closer, it was just dad on the porch. And then, as dad and I drove away that last time, only the house remains. It outlasted my parents, and will most likely outlast us too.

            And so it goes. The house on Oak Center Drive still appears in good shape. It will probably need a new roof in a couple of years. But that is someone else’s concern. There is, from what I hear, a new young family for it to protect and serve.

            After Oak Lawn, we visited with some old friends, Laura (Crystal’s childhood friend), and Bob (her husband), whom we haven’t seen in forty years. We couldn’t visit Crystal’s old neighborhood because, as Crystal put it, it’s no longer safe.

In the end, our trip gave us what we needed. As we enter a new phase in our lives as empty nesters without parents, a look back gives us some perspective, and a greater understanding of who we are and how we got here. I think that’s always a good thing.

Our old house now

Me after a storm and our house about 45 years ago
Category: Past, Present and Future

German Thanksgiving and Dad’s 98th Birthday party

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Dad turned 98 years old on November 15th. He is having more problems. But we got together as a family and celebrated a combined celebration which we call German Thanksgiving. We didn’t make a turkey dinner. Instead using mom’s recipes, I made all of dad’s favorite German foods featuring Sauerbraten, dumplings and red cabbage.  Crystal and I, our girls, and grandkids definitely share the excitement dad and I once had when mom made them for us. It was a wonderful thanksgiving combined birthday celebration, commemorating dad’s nearly one century of life.

 

For me, it was also a time of reflection. Until recently I hadn’t realized that dad was born exactly two years and four days after the Armistice was signed ending WWI. His life and my mom’s began in Germany under the shadow of that ‘war to end all wars’. Even though I don’t remember much history, a subject I hated studying when I was young, I do remember learning about the horrors of trench warfare and the extremely punitive nature of the Treaty of Versailles which followed.

 

My parents have both witnessed to me about the prolonged years of oppression and poverty suffered by the German people. This led directly to the call to nationalism which led to a second ‘war to end all wars’. Of course, according to Hitler, the demise of the homeland was largely the fault of a minority group of which dad was a part. It didn’t help that dad’s family had been in Germany for over 300 years or that many had died fighting for Germany. Two of dad’s uncles died in WWI. None of that mattered.

 

Fortunately, after dad and his family escaped to America, they were safe for a couple of years. Many of dad’s relatives weren’t so fortunate, killed outright or dying in the concentration camps.

 

Of course, dad joined the American army and returned to Germany where, after the war, he met mom. That eventually led to me. So….happy ending?

 

The point I wish to make is that, in a long and full life, my father has seen so much change. As we recently celebrated Veteran’s Day, I wonder if any of today’s youth in this world of Amazon and smart phones can really picture that time.

 

I was recently reminded of an old poem which might help.

 

In Flanders Fields

By John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

 

I want to take this occasion to thank my dad, Crystal’s dad, and all veterans for their sacrifice and the gift of our freedom. If we fail to guard it, it will be taken away.

 

From all of our family ages 1 year olds, Ayla and Addy to Dad, at 98 years old,

Happy Turkey Day!

Dad opening presents 11/17/2018

Dad’s Grandfather Herman Meinstein and his wife in Dad’s hometown of Zirndorf Germany circa 1900.

Category: Holidays, Past, Present and Future

40 Years

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It’s been 2 score, double life sentences (no chance of parole), 0.4 centuries, 3 daughters, 6 grand children, 4 states, and uncountable opportunities (challenges/problems) since Crystal and I tied the proverbial knot. That’s right, on April 1st of 2018 we had another April fool’s day, and Easter (praise God), but my most important reason for celebration, to assure any future earthly happiness, was Crystal and my 40th wedding anniversary. My mother, Mimi, had a saying to describe a long period of time in German, that pigs don’t live that long. I guess it sounded better in German.

As I write this blog, it is my truest desire to come up with some words or a formula that will help people live better lives, and maybe even give a boost to the institution of marriage. I guess that’s one reason Crystal and I wrote our memoir. Just as a reminder, our memoir’s name “150 Years of Marriage” was coined in anticipation. Since we started by interviewing Mary Jane Carlson, who died in 2006, I know that our three couples total hadn’t yet hit 140 years. Since my mom’s death in 2012, only Crystal and I can add to the total. As of April 1st 2018 our three couples are at 159 years. By the time we are published maybe we should change the name. Think of it, in just another 41 years, “200 Years of Marriage”……..OK, maybe not.

Dad is now 97. I see him frequently. When I do, we will inevitably take a quiet drive along the Scioto River. This river drive is no secret. On a nice day there is a flurry of activity. There are walkers, runners, and people fishing. There are bike riders, and skate boarders, people walking dogs and pushing baby carriages. There are also boats on the water and occasionally we see the OSU sculling teams working out.

Water fowl are also frequently around in abundance. Occasionally, we will see gray or blue heron. But, more frequently, there are seagulls, ducks and Canadian geese. Most often, the ducks and geese are in fairly large groups. But what I find interesting is that you rarely see them by themselves. Often they are in matched pairs. I am given to understand that they generally mate for life. They share responsibilities such as finding food or raising families. They fly together and swim together. Oh, their bonding isn’t perfect. Male geese are well known philanderers. Sometimes their honking seems akin to a squabbling couple. But they generally stay together until one dies. I sometimes wonder if they were put here as an example for us. Crystal has, on occasion, called me a silly goose.

What is the difference between a marriage lasting 4 years and 40 years? Three things: choosing well, commitment, and a lot of luck! I guess Crystal and I have all three. Crystal will tell you that we were brought together by God. While I don’t disagree, you would think God’s plan would have moved a little smoother. Between job changes, multiple moves, serious health problems, family issues, etc., etc. etc., you have to wonder. But maybe that’s part of it. We haven’t had a perfect marriage. I don’t know if that exists. However, looking back, when the “opportunities” were presented, we closed ranks and worked together. I would even say they may have brought us closer together.

Today, when we sit on the couch and watch “Monk” or some other, as our kids would say, corny show, Crystal will periodically reach over to hold my hand. I guess that’s plenty corny too. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s kind of cool. When I think about the number, 40 years seems like an impossible amount of time. But when I reach back for Crystal’s hand, it’s like no time has passed. I can remember being twenty-something and falling in love with the girl I was supposed to be with. Maybe God got it right after all.

 

HAPPY 40TH Crystal!

 

Crystal’s Corner

Yesterday, April 1, 2018, Easter Sunday, was our 40th wedding Anniversary.  It was a bright warm sunny day like our wedding day. Of course last night it snowed. Forty years ago, on the first day of our honeymoon, we had to scrape the ice off of our car in Chicago. In so many ways, it doesn’t seem like 40 years, four decades, but it has been a long journey.

We got together with all of our daughters and their families and Ron’s Dad at a Greek Restaurant in Columbus.  It occurred to me as I looked around the long table, that none of these people would be here, if Ron and I hadn’t gotten married 40 years ago.

In our memoir, 150 Years of Marriage, we talk about when we met, dated, got engaged and married.  We also talk about our childhoods and our parents’ courtships and marriages.

I can remember very clearly our time at Bradley University, our engagement, planning the wedding, our wedding day, and our honeymoon in Arizona.

I also can remember living in our studio apartment for several months before we moved to a two bedroom apartment.  We entertained our family and friends in that little one room apartment and enjoyed every minute of it.  Nobody seemed to mind sitting on folding chairs, our small couch, or the bed to eat with us in that small space.

We moved seven times during our marriage.  We have lived in two apartments, a townhouse, and four houses in four states.  We are the best packers you have ever met.

Both Ron and I are cancer survivors.  I have had more than 10 surgeries including three C-Sections.  So actually, still being together, and in somewhat good health is kind of a miracle.

We are so grateful to God for our marriage, our wonderful family, our sense of humor and our deep abiding love for each other.

We know we wouldn’t have survived all of our difficulties and changes without God’s help.  Wherever we have lived, we have been sent to a church family, who helped us.  We have found wonderful friends and neighbors and kindred spirits.

We also have had a very close relationship with our parents and families the whole time.  We travelled often on holidays to get together, and now our girls travel to see family often.

You know you have succeeded as a parent when your grown children are hardworking, responsible, kind, loving and caring individuals.  We have also been blessed by two very special and loving son-in-laws.

We have six unique and terrific grandchildren that we cherish and enjoy.

At our table yesterday we had Ron’s Dad who is 97 years young, and our two youngest granddaughters who just turned one, and many ages in-between.   Four generations celebrating our Savior Jesus and our 40th Anniversary.  I don’t think life gets any better that this.

Even though life has thrown a lot of curve balls at us, every day I am happy to be Mrs. Crystal Meinstein and to see Ron smiling at me.

Our fortieth, the ducks are just sleeping on the Scioto. Both pictures taken April 1st 2018.

 

Category: About Marriage and Family, Past, Present and Future

“Lady in Red” by Crystal

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Red is one of the most popular colors of the Christmas season. The color red reminds me of my mom. She loved the color red.  In her wardrobe, she had solid red clothes and red prints.  I like to wear bright colors including red.  Lately, I have added more red clothing to my wardrobe.  I am doing what many women do. I am reorganizing my closet, getting rid of clothes that are out of style, worn out, or that don’t fit.  It is a process and can be emotional at times.  I associate some of my blouses, skirts, dresses, etc. with memories of the occasions when I wore them.  I am realizing, however, that I can remember those occasions without still owning the clothes.  Also, my shape has changed over time and I can’t wear some of the outfits I really like anymore.  So it is a letting go process I have to do in order to bring some organization to my closet.

The newest dresses and tops that I recently have been buying for several months fit me well and reflect my personality.  I have three blouses with fall colors that I like very much.  I have two red dresses and several red blouses that are fashionable and look good on me.

I am currently trying to place outfits together in the closet so it will be easier to just take them and put them on especially for church activities, Christmas gatherings, and going out with Ron.  I usually dress nicely when we visit Ron’s Dad in Columbus, wearing a classy dress or blouse and skirt and my high heels.  Ron and his Dad like it when I dress up to go out with them.  They say it makes them look classier.

My mom always wore classy clothes when she went anywhere.  I must have inherited this habit from watching her as a child and as an adult.  What seems like a short time ago, my girls would watch me get dressed, and apply make up to go out on a date with their Daddy.  They liked to look into the closet and take out my high heels to see which ones I would wear.  They knew if I wore the red high heels that it was a special date.

When Michelle was little she would smile and say “You look beautiful, Mom”.  Elizabeth would tell Daddy that, Mommy is wearing her special red shoes and pretty dress so he would get the hint to say something nice. Men need a little help sometimes.

With all the activities involved in getting ready for Christmas, I have found that having my outfits clean and organized helps to reduce the stress.  Ron and I have a tradition to have a date in December before Christmas just to relax and enjoy each other.  This year we stayed at a bed and breakfast in Waynesville, Ohio and attended a dinner theatre.  One actor performed “A Christmas Carol” with the help of the audience.  This was an early Christmas present for me.  Other years we have just gone out for dinner or to see a funny movie or even just for a walk in the park and get coffee and dessert at our favorite diner.  It also helps us to remember when it was just the two of us early in our marriage before we had a lot of responsibility.  It is good to look back, smile, and hold hands.  As my grandmother use to say, “Love is grand.”

 

Michelle, Granddaughter Aylla and me. Look who’s wearing red!

Crystal in her new red dress on vacation last summer

Our annual Cookie bake 2017

 

Category: Past, Present and Future

Christmas Thoughts and Traditions by Crystal

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When I think of Christmas, I think of the cards, the nativity, decorating the tree and the house, getting together with family, baking, etc.  We send out our Christmas cards with our newsletter and often photos too.  My mom always sent out tons of Christmas cards mostly with notes or newsletters, but even then she would write a personal note in many of the cards.  We helped her get the cards ready to mail as a family.  She would set up an assembly line in our living room. We each had our area: Jeannette would sign cards because her handwriting was very nice and legible, Mom would write the addresses on the envelopes, one of us would put the stamps on, and another one would put the return address labels; and often fold and stuff in the newsletter and then seal the envelopes.  Then the envelopes were separated by zip codes and rubber banded before being taken to the post office.

We also decorated the house.  When we lived in Roseland, Illinois my mom would tape the Christmas cards we received on the Venetian blinds.  I didn’t understand why nobody else did that in their living rooms. Card traditions were carried on in our next home in Dolton, Illinois.

Even after Ron and I were married, whenever we visited my parents at Christmas, my mom would show me the cards she received and we would read the newsletters and notes.  Often, they were funny and we would laugh about them.

My Dad also did this with me after my mom died.  My mom sent cards to everyone, but my Dad’s policy was to wait until he received a card, and then sent one out.  For many years, my Dad sent out cards and a newsletter that he wrote.  He also wrote letters to friends and family.

This will be the first Christmas without Dad.  We miss seeing him.  Even when he was in the nursing home, he appreciated our visits.  We would talk to him and laugh with him.  I miss holding his hand and telling him that I love him.  He was a really good Dad.  We spent a lot of time with Mom and Dad and I am very glad that we stayed close to them.  I know that their influence and example made us who we are today.

So I come from a family of people who write letters and send cards. Sticking with tradition, these days I tape up our cards on the walls, and doors in our Victorian house. I notice that visitors and my girls and my grandchildren will look at them when they come over.

My three girls, granddaughter Jazmyn and I will have our cookie bake soon and carry on the tradition that started with Mom.  This year we will have two little girls, Addy and Ayla, in high chairs joining in the fun.  I remember when Elizabeth was in my old wooden high chair at Mom’s cookie bake and also when Michelle was and Lisa was there too.  We would give them some dough to play with and eat while we made the cookies.  Mom gave cookies to everyone she knew and even people she didn’t know very well.  It was her way of spreading God’s love. Mom showed love to people all year round, but especially at Christmas time and we are carrying on her legacy.

Ron’s Corner:

Christmas traditions are funny. Often no-one knows where they started or why we feel obligated to carry them on. Maybe it reminds us of happier, more care free days when we were young and in awe of the season. Maybe we feel obligated to pass something on to our children. Or maybe, in some way, we feel we are honoring our parent’s efforts and love.

My experiences are somewhat different than Crystal’s. I really had nothing to do, but enjoy. Mom did most of the work. Oh dad and I would go out and pick the tree and I suppose he mailed the cards and letters and shopped for special foods and for mom’s presents. Of course, he drove us to downtown Chicago every year to enjoy all of the store window decorations and the huge Christmas tree inside Marshall Fields.  But honestly he and I were both spoiled. Mom did all of the heavy lifting. She did most of the shopping, cleaning, decorating, wrapping and all of the cooking and baking. She wrote all of those cards every year most with hand written notes. Usually she hosted a tea party for her neighbors and friends during the Christmas season which they totally enjoyed.  We never went around with trays of cookies, but inevitably were visited by a number of friends, neighbors and even dad’s business associates. I swear, none would ever be allowed to leave empty handed or hungry. Mom wouldn’t allow that to happen. Occasionally, they would stagger ever so slightly as result of mom’s eggnog. Crystal insists it was more nog than egg.

Even for our girls, Christmas often meant a trip to Chicago and a Mimi Christmas. Mom was still putting on a show into her eighties; though I remember her for the first time complaining about how hard it was becoming to roll out the lebkuchen (German form of gingerbread). The girls and older grandkids enjoyed the Christmas decorations, German cookies, five course dinners, presents wrapped beautifully, and singing Silent Night with Mom and dad on Christmas Eve. They would sing at least one verse in German.

While Crystal and I have hosted a number of Christmases, along with Larry (Crystal’s brother) and Linda (Larry’s wife and Swedish version of mom) as well, our girls seem excited, even grateful to continue Christmas traditions with us and at their homes.

So this year, Crystal and I will be especially grateful as we celebrate the Lord’s birth with warm cookies, friends and family. I’ll bet Heaven has some really wonderful cookies. No eggnog required.

Enter a new member in her new home for her first Christmas. Aylla with mom and Nana Crystal

 

Category: Holidays, Past, Present and Future

Halloween, Then and Now

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As a kid of the sixties, it was always my favorite holiday. OK to be fair my real favorite was Christmas, but Halloween was the start of the holiday season. And what was not to love? There were costumes, house to house pillaging for candy, the rustling of leaves in the crisp fall air and the Halloween Festival at Gasteyer School. Every year from the age of six to eleven I couldn’t wait for the festival. It was magic. The normally boring classrooms were transformed into magical game and event rooms. This was the big PTA fund raiser and a big hit for the entire Oak Lawn, Illinois community. Kids talked about it for weeks.

My mom (Mimi) usually baked a cake for the cake walk. It was like musical chairs. Everyone would step from number to number until the music stopped. Then a spin of the wheel would reveal who got to pick a cake from the large cake table. I think I was seven or eight when I got to pick a cake. It was chocolate, of course. I ever so proudly and carefully carried the cake home in the dark to give to my mom before returning to the school for more fun. There were game rooms, where you could win valuable prizes like pencils, crayons, and you guessed it, more candy. The gym was open for games involving basketballs, bean bags, and volley balls.  There was also the room, which every parent hated, where a good toss of a ping pong ball would score you a pet gold fish. They generally had a life expectancy of slightly longer than the trip home, before joining all of their fishy friends on the other side of the toilet bowl.

By 1965 I was at the top of the ladder. As a sixth grader I was a school elder. At eleven years old and a patrol guard I was practically an adult. As such, I was honored with an inside look at my favorite room of all, The Haunted House! For a young child, this was a rite of passage and a test of bravery. You could brag to your friends. ‘Naw I wasn’t scared.’ Or you could talk about the kid who cried. But this year was special. I got out of class to help set up the room. Curtains hanging from cloth lines would hide the numerous workers. One would lie on top of the closets with the rubber spied on a fishing line to dangle in front of hapless victims. Another would have a wet sponge on a stick for a quick jab to the back of your neck or a girl’s legs. Others would jump out in ghoulish costumes. To my great disappointment, I discovered that the bowl of worms was nothing more than spaghetti. Although, when I think about some of my friends, I would guess that by the night’s end there had to be at least a few real worms in the bowl. The eye balls were only pealed grapes. I ate a few when no one was looking.

Even though I had lost my Halloween innocence I gathered my courage, donned my pirate costume and joined Tim and Tom to walk the streets and gather our quota of goodies. Back then, everything seemed safe. Kids old enough to find their ways home could go out unattended. There were no real demonic overtones to the holiday. Horror movies, which I loved, like Frankenstein and Dracula were non reality based and had at least semi-positive endings. Candy didn’t need checking. Communities had networks of moms, who were vigilant of any potential threats.

Today, however things are a little different. As I think of the world our kids and grandkids have grown up in I cringe. Security at schools has become far more important than fun. Reality has infiltrated fantasy. Crystal and I were on vacation in Florida around 1978. At the insistence of her old friend we saw the movie “Halloween”. When Jamie Lee Curtis screamed Crystal screamed louder. I screamed louder than her. She was grabbing my sun burned shoulder. The point is, that movie wasn’t like my old horror films. Today horror is real and vigilance is the order of the day. Our kids today suffer from an all too early loss of innocence. Trick-or-treaters still come to our house in substantial numbers but generally parents aren’t too far off.

As my girls grew up I still shared their enjoyment. I would dress up, mainly for their benefit, as a mad scientist to take them trick-or-treating. Generally a neighbor or friend would join us. Today, I notice that while most of the little monsters and princesses have elders watching over them, some are on their own. I attribute this to parental apathy and neglect, which unfortunately is prevalent nowadays. I worry that these kids are no longer safe.

I have to admit that those days of seeing my own kids, with their eyes widened by the many spectacles and bountiful treats was as special to me as to them. Today, while some churches have offered safe alternatives, trick-or-treating seems as popular as ever. So this Halloween, should the opportunity present itself, offer to help out some overburdened parent. If not, at least remain ever vigilant and report any suspicious behavior. Our kids deserve to remain innocent and safe for as long as possible and to enjoy the Holiday. Have a happy Halloween.

A princess, a Hawaiian girl, and their pet bunny. Lisa (bunny) was about the same age as Liz’s (princess) and Michelle’s (Hawaiian Girl) daughters (Ady and Ayla) are now.

 

 

Category: Holidays, Past, Present and Future

When Someone Dies

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When someone dies, I believe as part of grieving, we have a tendency to look at our lives.  As we contemplate mortality and loss we might ask questions. Where are we going?  Where have we been?  What do we do, now that this person who meant so much to us is not here anymore?

My father lived a long time, much longer than he thought he would live – to 90 years old.  The last few years were not good for him. He stopped doing his leather-work.  He stopped writing letters to family and friends. He couldn’t remember things like what time it was or what day it was or what season.  He would eat a meal with us and ten minutes later, ask “When are we going to eat?”  We would tell him he just ate and bring him a snack and a drink.

Ironically, my brother told me, he was in pretty good health. His blood pressure was normal as was his cholesterol.  My Dad loved donuts, pie, cake, ice cream, cookies and candy.  But his cholesterol was always fine. He got much thinner during the last years. He was wasting away.  We had to get him smaller clothes and punch more holes in his belt.  My brother said it was like we were losing him inch by inch and pound by pound.

My father didn’t lose his sense of humor.  He liked to tell funny stories. He was very witty.  We all have a pretty good sense of humor. We have the ability to laugh at ourselves.  It is a good quality to pass on from one generation to the next.

My mom also had a great sense of humor and told funny stories. I miss her laugh. I miss my Dad’s voice and the love for me I saw in his eyes when we visited him. He was someone in my life I always wanted to talk to; to listen to and to share what was happening in our lives.  There is a void in my life without him that is impossible to fill. Even now, I sometimes forget that he is gone.  I won’t need to buy a father’s day card or present this year for him. Somehow that hurts, and yet I wouldn’t want him back because he wasn’t well.

Do we really understand heaven?  For those who believe in everlasting life, heaven is the place we are heading for at the end of our lives.  I wonder if heaven is like the People’s store.  I use to go to the People’s Store on Michigan Ave. in Chicago with my mom and my Dad when I was a little girl.  There was a large landing with a half circle of chairs between stair cases.  We would sit there with my Dad eating chocolate covered peanuts from a paper bag and watch the people.  This was the best part of shopping according to my Dad. My mom was buying what she needed.  We were watching the world go by and having fun with Dad.

When I was growing up in Roseland, I thought my Dad was the handsomest, nicest and funniest man that I knew.  I had watched him shave with the old type of razor and shaving cream.  I watched him comb his black hair. He used some type of greasy stuff on it to hold his hairdo. I knew all of his hats – mostly fedoras. I watched him tie his ties not understanding how he was doing it. I was very glad that girls didn’t have to wear ties. They looked completely uncomfortable and it was easy to spill things on them like gravy and chocolate syrup.  They were also hard to clean although my mom usually managed to get the stains out.  My Dad had a leather case he had made for his shirt pocket.  In it he would keep his glasses, his pen, and some pipe cleaners.  He always had a pocket knife in his pants pocket and change and keys that jingled when he walked.

Now my brother, my sister and I are getting everything out of my Dad’s house. My talented brother is painting all the walls and ceilings and redoing both bathrooms.  He also is removing the horrible disintegrating faded rose carpeting and cleaning the wonderful hardwood floors underneath.  We always called mom and dad’s house, the Quilt house, because there were quilts hanging up in almost every room, on the beds and on quilt racks.  My mom also had a large doll collection and teacups scattered on shelves around the house.  Their home has been a home to me and my children and grandchildren.  So many memories of family get togethers, eating around the large dining room table, opening presents on Christmas morning, and finding the Easter eggs.  Always talk and laughter filled that house.  Now it is quiet.

The last time I was there in May, I felt like the house was saying goodbye to me.  It was letting me go.  As we drove away with our car filled with boxes, it was like we were taking time with us; time that would be spent in our house around our dining room table, in the living room and on our wraparound porch.  I felt a certain peace about it, like mom and dad were looking down from heaven and smiling with love and approval.

 

Ron’s Corner:

Crystal writes so well; don’t you think? I too love remembering the many good times in my life. Every life has both good and bad. I think the key to satisfaction in life is remembering the good and learning from, but not focusing on, the bad. I too have many fond memories from my childhood, some of them are recorded on this web site.  I am so glad that we took the opportunity to interview our parents while they were all still with us. Now only one parent, my dad, remains. However, we are determined to get the memoir published to preserve and share their lives. I read a few pages every now and again. My totally unbiased opinion; It’s really good!

I am so glad we undertook this project. If you are fortunate enough to have living parents, ask them about their lives. You might learn something. It might help you understand a few things. If nothing else, it’s never a waste of time talking to someone you care about. Do it while you can. The time is fleeting.

Ron holding Liz, Crystal holding Michelle, Mary Jane and Jim circa 1986 (the way we want to remember Crystal’s parents).

Category: Past, Present and Future

Where Have all the Sandlots Gone?

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The other day I was talking with my grandson, Keylan. I asked how he was doing on his high school track team. As usual, he is doing his best, but the World and Olympic records are probably safe for the time being. I told him about my non-record setting times from my high school gym class. I also told him that my best sports were football and baseball. I explained that while I never tried out for a team, I played a lot of sandlot sports. Suddenly, I felt quite old. I was using terminology unfamiliar to today’s youth. I also felt somewhat bad for this generation, staring at screens all of the time, when they could be experiencing life.

When I think back, my interest in baseball probably goes back to around 1959. Even as a five year old, the energy around Chicago was palpable. I didn’t understand much, but this baseball was an exciting game. Everyone was talking about the White Sox. In the end, they prevailed. The Sox won the Pennant. Little did I know that they would not win another Pennant until 2005. However, that’s not the point. At that time, commonly recognized as the Golden Age of Baseball, there were games everywhere. It seemed that every field big enough would have kids playing. My Oak Lawn neighborhood was no exception. From the first day school was out, we played baseball. The school park was only a block away. Sometimes that seemed too far. We would play in the street until Mr. Brown came out and yelled at us. I tried to reassure him that we were all too talented to hit any parked cars. He never seemed to buy that argument. So we walked the tiresome journey to the park where we could run and hit and field for the next three hours, unencumbered.

Some days we would break for lunch and return in the afternoon until dinner. I never really had any lessons. I just watched my favorite players on TV and did what they did. We had a core group, but some different players would show up every day. Often, there weren’t enough to field two full teams so we played modified games. We could play a modified game called Indian Ball with as few as four. With three we played running bases. With two, we played catch, hit, and pitch with a tennis ball against the wall of the school (usually around the corner from the “NO Ball Playing Allowed” sign).

A nice lady across from the school let us drink from her hose. I still remember the taste of the warm rubber flavored water. As bad as it tasted, it’s probably allowed us to survive on the really hot days. After playing, mom usually had cold Kool Aide and cookies waiting for anyone who wanted it. We probably drank a couple glasses before we actually could enjoy the flavor.

Over the course of a summer, we went through a lot of baseballs. However, funds were scarce. Being resourceful, we found tricks to prolong their life. It usually involved sneaking into dad’s tool chest and stealing tape. Eventually, no matter how hard we tried to preserve it the cover would come off. Then it was time for a serious tape job. It made for some colorful baseballs; green, red, black, or whatever tape I found. Mrs. Byczek always thought it was hysterical. To me, it was just a lesson in survival.

Over the course of a few summers, I actually got pretty good. I was a natural hitter and rarely missed. I was also quite good in the outfield. However, I spent most of my time in the infield. I needed more work there. I had a lot of difficulty judging hard grounders. They made it look so easy on TV. Somehow I never considered that the inconsistent clumps of grass and sand and rocks might have some effect. I thought it must be that I wasn’t keeping my eye on the ball, or getting in front of it. What I lacked in ability, I made up for in determination. My favorite game came at a price. The price included scrapes, black and blue shins, an occasional ball in the face (the wrong way to keep your eye on the ball), and at least once a summer the dreaded groin shot (with laughter adding insult to injury). Broken fingers were part of the deal as well. A couple of them are still noticeably bent. Unlike my TV heroes, however, no trainer rushed onto the field. Instead, I excused myself and went home. I enjoyed a Popsicle. The stick made an ideal splint. When combined with a little more of dad’s seemingly endless tape supply, I was again set to rejoin my friends on the field of honor.

Yes I do feel sorry for today’s generation. They don’t know what they are missing. Or maybe they do?

Crystal’s Corner

I also remember sandlot baseball.  My brother and his friends played often.  Sometimes they let me play with them even though I was a girl. Other times, they refused to let me play.  I would get mad at them, yell at my brother, and stomp home.  But after a while, I learned a way to get them to let me play.  I stole the ball.  There was usually only one ball.  Balls got lost so often in weeds and prairies that the parents couldn’t keep replacing them.  I would bring the ball home with me and my brother would follow yelling. “Crystal, you have to give the ball back to me.”  I would go in the house smiling, gripping the ball.  My brother would try to get my Dad on his side, but Dad would say, “Let your sister play.”  Finally, my brother would give in and say, “All right come on, I will make them let you play.”  We would then return to the sandlot where all of the players were now sitting on the ground resting.  That was what was really good about playing sandlot ball. When you got tired, you just sat down.  Then either we would find a hose we could turn on for a drink or go home for snacks and Kool Aid.  A lot of the time, my brother’s friends, Georgie and Bobby, came to my house because my mom made the best chocolate chip cookies and other baked goods.

Summer was fun. Summer was being outside in the sunshine running around, roller skating, playing tag, jump roping, playing red rover, playing mother may I and other games.  We didn’t watch much TV because our moms wouldn’t let us stay in the house to watch TV.  All the parents agreed to tell us, “Go out and play.”  They knew it was good for us.

OK, it’s not sandlot, but it is my grandson Keylan playing baseball. He’s a good kid. He’ll never know what he missed.

Category: Past, Present and Future

Our Hearts belong to Daddy By Crystal Meinstein

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Sorrow lasts for a night, but Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)

Last week this Bible verse came true for my family. On Thursday evening, Feb. 16, my father went home to be with the Lord.  On Friday morning, Feb. 17, my daughter, Elizabeth, gave birth to my granddaughter, Addelyn Klein.

I will miss my father very much.  We were always very close and happy to be together.

I have wonderful memories of my childhood with my Dad.  We would go to the People’s store on Michigan Ave. in Chicago.  My dad would buy chocolate covered peanuts at the candy counter and we would sit on the large landing dividing the staircases and watch the people.  I thought that was why they called it the People store.

Every fall we would rake the leaves and my dad would burn them so we could roast marshmallows over the fire.  When our hands could reach the push mower handles, Dad would have us stand in front of him to help him cut the grass.  We also learned to paint the walls as toddlers: first with water and then with paint.  Dad and I loved to watch Tarzan movies starring Johnny Weissmuller on Saturday afternoons. As a child I thought he knew Roy Rogers and Gene Autry personally.  We watched westerns with him and he liked shows like Bonanza and Gun Smoke. Sometimes when our old black and white TV broke down, he would get out his harmonica or his mandolin and play for us.  We would sing cowboy songs with him.

He would eat Jeannette and my tiny cakes we made in our Easy Bake Oven.  A few years later, he was even happier when we baked large cakes, cookies, brownies, etc. in the real oven.  My mom made great pies and butterscotch meringue was Dad’s favorite.  She would make it for his birthday.  Fortunately, mom taught me to cook and to bake when I was young because when she got sick I could do the cooking.  When mom was very sick, Dad, Larry, Jeannette and I joined forces.  Dad said we would never be able to do all that Mom did, but we could team up together and try.  He would split the grocery list in half and give me half and then race me in the grocery store. This didn’t work very well because Dad didn’t know the products that Mom usually bought.  I did.  But he always tried to make things fun even in the worst of times.

Dad was a wonderful speaker who won awards in the Toastmaster organization. Most of his speeches were humorous.  His sense of humor got us through a lot of trouble and hard times. I followed in his footsteps, giving several public speeches in Jr. High School and joining the Debate team in high school. He also read all of my term papers, poetry, and short stories.  When I was about 10 years old and having problems with mean kids at school, my dad gave me his books, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.  He also would read Rudyard Kipling’s poetry to me.  He told me that when someone hurts you write him a letter and then tear it up.  He also said that, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”  After I left home, I had Dad’s and Mom’s voices in my head. When I had difficulties, I would think; what would Dad do; or what would Mom do?  It helped me in making decisions.

For several summers when I was in high school I worked at dad’s office at Sherwin Williams.  This experience consisted of riding in Dad’s car pool with his friend, Crazy Fred. I attribute learning to pray often on those terrifying trips.  Dad at the office was very well respected.  He would take me out to lunch with his friends, Alice Harris and Norris Bishton.    I could tell that he was proud of me and that gave me confidence in myself.

When I married Ron, Dad walked me down the aisle.  He really didn’t want me to get married yet.  He said I was completely trained to do everything in the house and now I was leaving.  Ron and I lived close to Mom and Dad in Illinois and so Ron established a close relationship with both of them.  After they moved to Cincinnati and we moved to Indiana, we saw them as often as we could.  We played pinochle, went out to dinner, visited and took care of the kids together.  Daddy was a wonderful grandfather and great grandfather.  He loved babies and was a great babysitter.  My children were all very attached to their grandfather and my grandchildren were also close to him.  His presence in their lives will be missed.

I know that Dad is with Mom in heaven right now and that is where he wanted to be.  But it will be difficult to not see him and talk to him.  When I lived at home, every morning, Dad would hug me and tell me that he loved me.  He knew when I was upset and would ask me to tell him what was wrong.  He was my confident, my companion, my supporter and my Daddy.

 

Category: About Marriage and Family, Past, Present and Future

Getting in the Mood for Christmas

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Now that all of the election unpleasantness is over and our bellies are returning to normal after Thanksgiving, we can turn our attention to the really important matters. That’s right, Christmas. In the old days, listen to me kids, you started talking Christmas after Thanksgiving. These days, however, Christmas decorations appear in Wal-Mart around Labor Day. The Hallmark Christmas movies start two weeks before Halloween. Sadly, it’s no longer about preparing for the birthday of Jesus, but Black Friday and shopping. Of course, this is nothing new, probably worse, but not new.

I still remember, as a kid, this season being my favorite time of the year. Mom wouldn’t have it any other way. I was her only child and the rightful prince of the house. i.e… I was spoiled. The only thing I think I liked better than the day, was the anticipation of the day. It would start when every day in November I would check the front porch. I knew it would arrive in a timely manner. Then finally it came! About two to three inches thick, everyone got one. The day the Sears Christmas catalog arrived, my season began. I would spend hour after hour pouring over each page of the colorful guide to my happiness. Yes, I even gave a casual glance to the clothing section. Models would be poised like they were having fun just wearing clothes. Of course, I spent most of my time studying the new and wonderful toys and sports equipment.

The first few days I would just fire through the pages to get a feel for them. What a wonderful feeling. After that it was time to get serious. With pencil in hand, I began to form my strategy. I would start to circle all of the possible choices and duck tailing the pages. It might have been easier to circle the ones I wasn’t interested in. Of course, at least I could skip over the girl pages. I had no interest in dolls, tea parties etc… However, I might admit I kind of had a thing for the Easy Bake Oven. The idea of baking my own cookies and cakes did have a certain appeal. Once my list was complete, I would categorize according to priority. A target rifle and scuba gear was always at the top of my list. I never got either.

Then it came; the shopping trips with mom. We would typically go by bus the ten miles or so to the Evergreen Park Mall. Mom didn’t drive until I was older. We would get to the mall and there was Santa. I stopped believing in him at an early age. How could he be on every street corner and at the mall? Santa’s brothers? Give me a break. I had friends with brothers. They were named Tim and Kevin, not Tim and Tim. Besides, why would so many parents be wondering around my favorite area of the department (toys) if Santa did all of the heavy lifting? I pretended though. It seemed to make mom happy. I even remember once sitting on Santa’s lap and when he asked what I wanted, saying, ‘Didn’t you read my letter?’. This seemed to embarrass mom.

Then things got real. For days, the house would get more and more Christmassy. I never appreciated how much work was involved until many years later. The tree and lights were my favorite part. Occasionally, I would go with dad to pick out the perfect tree. Without me, he would inevitably get it wrong. I do remember some “discussions” about the tree quality. However, they always looked great once decorated (mom’s job) and after dad cut enough off and the proper side was facing the street.

On Christmas Eve, mom and I would walk through Oak Lawn by night. We would enjoy all of the beautifully decorated houses on our way to St. Linus Catholic Church for the service. It was my favorite service of the year. It was mercifully short and almost entirely in English (they still spoke a lot of Latin back then). Then back home for my half-hearted attempt at sleep. Usually, I would find an excuse to get up a few times before actual sleep occurred (bathroom, water, etc.).

I think it was probably a late night for mom and dad; but in the morning I was never disappointed. I would rip open the clothing presents and toss the contents casually aside in order to get to the more important gifts. While I don’t think my parents were overly concerned with my Sears catalog marking, I always got more than I deserved. On Christmas night, we often drove through the neighborhood. Dad always seemed to know where all of the best decorated houses were.

These days, as an adult, the times seem a little more turbulent. There is no more Sears catalog. I read an article saying that Sears itself may not be long for this world. These days, I wish someone else would buy my socks or underwear. I miss mom. However, when I talk to our girls, I can see that they are not willing to give up on our traditions or the season. Liz drags her kids around shopping unceasingly. Lisa usually is with her to assist. Michelle, while she no longer lives in the area, calls to ask all of the when and where details of our celebration. Our grandkids look forward to getting time off of school and all of the associated festivities.

I guess, all in all, there is still plenty to look forward to, and even more to pass on. Getting back to the real reason for the season, this last Sunday was the first of Christian Advent. The first candle lit was for hope. I think that’s what it’s really all about. The future has no guarantees, but where there is hope, there is life. May this little look back help prepare you to truly experience the joy of this season. When you are fighting for the last ‘Rogue One’ doll at Wal-Mart, try to ask yourself WWJD.

Crystal’s Corner: Christmas Traditions

To me, Christmas is the best season of the year because we are celebrating Jesus coming into the world to bring us light and peace and hope.  My family, especially my mom, was very involved with Christmas.  I sang in the choir at our church, so for weeks we were practicing for our December Cantata.  That music in my head would last for months afterwards.

My Mom sent out over 100 Christmas cards.  Before she did a newsletter, she wrote a note in almost every card.  She would set up an assembly line in our living room.  Signing the cards (usually Jeannette’s job because of her excellent handwriting), putting on the return addresses and stamps, sealing the envelopes and then sorting them into states.  We were very organized.  Some of my friends, once they saw what we were doing, wanted to join in.  My Mom took all helpers.

Then there was the baking.  We started right after Thanksgiving and every weekend, we baked cookies, sometimes raisin bread, and pumpkin bread and other sweets.  We froze the cookies and then right before Christmas, we made up plates and gave one to everyone we knew including the paper boy, the mail man, the neighbors, the tax man, etc.  We also had our cookie bake with friends.  My best friend, Debbie, and her mom would come with their cookie dough including potato chip cookies.  We had mixed up several batches especially cut out cookies, snickerdoodles, spritz, gingerbread, drop cookies, etc.  The morning was spent baking and in the afternoon, we decorated the cut outs and gingerbread with icing and sprinkles and candies.  Then we would divide up the cookies.  This way, we got quite a variety.  I have continued this tradition with my girls and my granddaughter.  Boy, can these girls make wonderful cookies and candies.  One year, we had the cookie bake at my house.  We were making goodies in the kitchen, the dining room and the living room.  I was having problems with my microwave that day (it was sparking) and when you opened my freezer, something would fall out.

We have a lot of fun at our cookie bakes, no matter where we do it.  I miss Jeannette and my friend, Debbie at our cookie bakes.  Jeannette and I did a lot together with Mom for Christmas.  Beyond shopping and decorating and baking, we made many of the presents to give away.  Mom would get us started in the summer, buying craft supplies and patterns on sale.  We always made items for the craft bazaar at church in the fall anyway.

I actually shop for Christmas presents all year round and for birthday presents too.  I learned a long time ago to spread it out and shop the sales.  Now I shop online which is very helpful as well.

I cherish our Christmas traditions and I am very glad that my girls also continue to make the season very festive and enjoyable.  Mostly, we enjoy doing things together, laughing, talking, eating any mistakes when we bake, and being thankful for each other and our faith. Christmas can be a lot of work, but if you do it with family and friends, it can be a wonderful season.  My mother would sing carols all the time and we sang right along with her. “Tis the Season to be jolly!”  Ron and I both hope that you are.

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A couple of Christmas pictures from a few years ago.

Category: Holidays, Past, Present and Future
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