Why God Why?

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I’ve been told I have a great sense of humor (or corny if you ask my daughters). Psychologically, humor could be used as a defense mechanism. It can be used to hide a deeper inner pain. It could be an escape mechanism, because life is too serious without a sense of humor. It could demonstrate an overdeveloped need for positive feedback. I’ve also heard that a good sense of humor is a sign of intelligence. Let’s go with that one.

As much as I would like, humor isn’t always possible, even for me. Life can get very real, very fast. I love our Wednesday Bible study. While I always learn from the study part, it is not the largest part of those two hours each week. That is always reserved for prayer, praises and concerns. Unfortunately, the list of concerns always seems to come out larger. We listen intently as each concern, worry, suffering is revealed. An occasional positive story helps bring life into perspective. When the list is complete we begin a time of prayer.

Lately I’ve been asking for prayer for my middle daughter, Michelle or Mishel as she prefers. She married her long time friend and companion, Alex. They had a great honeymoon: Europe and Mexico. While they had planned on having children, Michelle’s immediate pregnancy wasn’t planned. Life is all about adapting. Sometimes it’s harder to adapt than others. Late Friday night, with Alex and her sister Liz present, in a Columbus hospital, she lost the baby.

There are no jokes for that. There is no period of time that will erase the horrible experience. There is only life and another in my growing list of questions for God. Oh time will pass; and the pain will seem less. Eventually, at the right time, they will try again, and be successful. If there is one thing I know about Michelle, it’s that she has so much love to give, and will be an amazing mother. I’m equally certain that, much like me, when the time comes, Alex will rise to the challenge.

Yes, he will be the first to steal the baby’s nose. His heart will fill with pride as he uses his best football carry to transport his new little bundle of pride and joy. In a little while he might even teach his child something akin to my flying baby trick. It always elicited smiles from my daughters and a scrupulous stare and moan from Crystal. I enjoyed her reaction almost better than my daughters’.

Oh there will be times when their young child will terrify them. I remember when Michelle was three and she went into convulsions. We got her to the hospital in time. Even then, she smiled and enjoyed the attention. Then there was the time when she got lost at a large fair we were attending (my fault if you ask Crystal). I covered a lot of ground at a rather high rate of speed. We found her by the concession stands, looking for a handout. In second grade, her teachers were mean to her. She came home crying every other day. We wound up homeschooling her for a year and then sending her to a Christian school we really couldn’t afford. When it comes to your kid, it’s never about money.

For years Michelle was my jogging partner. She always got more exercise than me though. Somehow girls can’t run quietly. I think it takes a lot more energy to talk while you’re running. Somehow I think the talking, or processing of life, was her reason for running. Of course, I enjoyed the company and one on one time with her.

When I see my girls go through life and its associated challenges, I marvel at their resilience. I like to think they got some of that from Crystal and me. While I am sure they probably each have their lists for God, they will continue to endure. At times they will even thrive. Other times, like today, they will grieve. Even God acknowledges; for everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

That means that, sometime, hopefully in the not too distant future, I will again find something funny about life. I hope it is soon.

Michelle and ducks 002

This was three year old Michelle later on that trip when she had convulsions.

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