Wedding Surprise!

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Today’s topic is wedding surprise. There were a lot of things which didn’t surprise me at my daughter Michelle’s wedding, earlier this month. First and foremost, was the wedding itself. Michelle and Alex have been together for a long time so the wedding surprised no-one. Alex actually asked for my permission. Trust me, no one does that without being certain, I mean death and taxes certain, they were getting married. I asked my father-in-law while he was cleaning his gun (kidding).

The wedding was great. No surprise there, Michelle and Alex are both great planners. There was a short, but meaningful ceremony followed by really excellent food (even a carving station). My dad, who has eaten in some of America’s best restaurants, was really impressed with the prime rib. After dinner there was good music, toasts, dancing, and games. They even allowed me to pray before the meal. That meant a lot to me.

I believe I was one of the few, including my wife, who was not at all surprised when the bride and two bride’s maids (our other two daughters) were the last contestants in the game of musical chairs (out of eleven). Other contestants didn’t stand a chance. Competitive nature was not a rarity in our household. I once thought there might be bloodshed over a game of monopoly. And if I ever have to listen to another debate about who the best softball player was, I just might hit myself with a bat. Unfortunately, I taught them all how to play, and was at many of their games. When the debates begin, I’ve learned to smile and nod (better than duck and cover). I haven’t always been so wise. At one point, a long, long time ago, I thought the right thing was to give my honest opinion. My wife and three daughters quickly taught me that the only acceptable response to such queries is one of unconditional love or no response. Girls are actually OK with a non-responsive dad, as they seem to have no trouble continuing a conversation in perpetuity (with or without my input).

My big wedding surprise came at the discretion of the wedding DJ. He decided to play the little anniversary game. You know the one. First you get all of the married couples on the dance floor dancing. Then you start to eliminate them based on time served, or rather time married. First, everyone who has been married less than one full day may be seated. Of course that eliminated Michelle and Alex. Then he went to one year, five years, and then ten years. At that point my oldest Liz and her husband Brad were seated. The game continued and I was anxious to find out which of the older couples would be left once we were eliminated. To my extreme surprise, when the DJ got to thirty-five years, Crystal’s brother Larry and his wife Linda left. Crystal and I were alone on the dance floor…….I was shocked…….When did we become the old married couple? I masked my amazement by spinning Crystal a couple of times. I was trying to subliminally communicate with everyone there that we were still young. I’m sure they could all see that.

Since that day, I’ve had a little more time to reflect. This was a rather small reception of only about fifty people. Our thirty-seven years really wasn’t that much. After all, my knees and hip stopped being sore some time the next day. That doesn’t make me old, does it? Of course not! I have already figured out the solution. Whenever it’s Lisa’s turn to get married I’ll just have to help out with the guest list. Crystal and I know some older married couples who would love to attend a wedding. Problem solved! The moral of this story is that satisfaction in marriage, and for that matter in life, is all a matter of perspective…and occasionally, strategic denial.

Michelle Wedding 040

The happy couple.

Michelle Wedding 097

This is just before the last irrelevant contestant is eliminated.

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