Sad Anniversaries

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I was walking with dad at Blendon Woods Metro Park the other day. He mentioned that it was September 21st. That was the same day one year ago that the movers packed up all of his stuff from his house in Oak Lawn, Illinois to move to his new apartment here in Ohio. It was the first move he had made in over fifty years. It was the first move he had made in over sixty-five years without his wife, Mimi. I know it had to be one of the hardest things he has ever done. It was the only thing that made sense. He had to be closer to family.

Once we arrived at his apartment and all of the grand kids and great grand kids showed up to help, I know it made sense to him. To some extent it was like he was discovering a family he didn’t know he had. We all worked together in synchronicity and harmony to put together his apartment in a way that he would find pleasing. I had done all of the measurements and had an idea what would fit and where it should all go. When done, in a surprisingly short time, dad took us out to a group dinner. The only thing missing, and I knew we all thought it, was Mimi. She would have loved a move closer to us.

Unfortunately, that’s just not the way life works. You can’t live in a world of could have, should have, would have. You can only live in the here and now. Here and now dad and I were walking in Blendon Woods, talking about a sad anniversary. I asked if he thought about Mimi on September 12th. It was her birthday and already our second birthday without her. All he said is that not a day goes by that he doesn’t think about her. Somehow that made me feel good.

I don’t think it hurts to look back to those precious times with loved ones who have gone on. Is it part of grieving? Certainly. But more importantly, it is part of keeping love alive. I believe that regardless of the pain, the love is worth living for, and needs to live on past what our bodies can endure. Mom, if you are reading this, know that you are sorely missed. Oh and Belated Happy Birthday.

Crystal’s Corner of the World: TV shows and mom

Lately, I have been finding TV shows on TV that I use to watch when I was growing up.  Shows like That Girl, The Love Boat and Love American Style.  I am glad these shows are available now. I like seeing them, but sometimes it makes me sad.  My mom loved comedies on TV.  We watched these shows together and laughed and commented about them.  I miss her laugh.  I miss our conversations.  I have had many dreams about her.  In my dreams she is well, wearing the quilted clothing she made for herself and happy.  We are talking and laughing together.   She wasn’t well for a long time before she died.  I am glad in my dreams she is well.  I do believe I will see her again in heaven.  Sometimes it is hard for me to wait although I have a lot to do here, and my children and my husband, who I don’t think I can live without.

I am grateful for good memories of my mom and me during my childhood and growing up years.  Cherish the time you have with your parents, children and friends while you are together.  The time goes by so fast.


Crystal and my mom looking into an aquarium around 2010


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