Pray About It

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With teenage girls, I was never sure how much of my “sage” advice got in. After all I was “just dad”. However, now that I am writing this blog, over the internet, where everything is true, I’m sure you realize that I only have your best interest at heart. The first thing I told my girls was to pray for your spouse. This was a practice that both Crystal, though I didn’t know her at the time, and I both practiced. This is a practice which works even if you are not particularly religious. I’ll explain why shortly.

I started while in the confusing world of high school. With all of the bullies, geeks (which I was probably one), different social groups, sexual and role confusion, etc., it was a very stressful time. I saw my parents in their ups and downs, highs and lows, regardless they were always on the same team. I always knew I wanted that someday. I never fixated on it. Over the next few years, I may have prayed for the health and well being of my future spouse a half a dozen times. The funny thing was, whenever I did, the things I was looking for became clearer. I think that is the key. Have an idea in your head about what you need in a spouse and make it a plan. I don’t mean pray for a movie star who only lives to please you. Trust me I have tried that, and all I got was a mental image of God laughing. I mean what is really important to you.

What are your basic values? What traits are you looking for in a spouse? Picture people you like and get along with. Whatever, whoever, comes to mind, that’s who you are looking for. Don’t ever forget that, when emotions and “love” are involved, they have a way of blurring your mind. For me dating was a great diversion and screening tool in college. While I never planned on coming out of college with a fiancé, there were a few girls who I thought were spousal material for me. Somehow though, things never worked out. For me, that was just part of God’s screening process.

When I met Crystal, it was interesting, but never love at first sight. She kept coming back into my life and my thoughts. Our first date was a semiformal dance. She was the seventh girl I asked. The more I was with her the more I realized that maybe this was the person I had been praying for. When she was sick, I just wanted to take care of her; or when I needed a paper typed and she dropped everything to do it; we just knew. Crystal and I don’t share tons of interests, but we still date and make sure that our spouse can continue to pursue their non-mutual interests. An unselfish attitude is a key for both you and your spouse. But we can save that for another day. Have a good one!

Crystal’s Corner
Since Ron is writing this blog about marriage and our relationship I thought it would be good if I throw my two cents in from time to time. I believe he is right when he talks about praying for your future spouse. Right before I met Ron while I was at Bradley University, I was praying for God to send me a best friend on campus. I was a transfer student so I was new to the school as a junior. I thought my best friend would be a girlfriend that I could confide in and spend time with on campus. But God had a different idea. He sent me Ron and he became my boyfriend and my best friend for life. This was very confusing for me for a while. I had a five year plan for after I left college. Ron talks about this in the memoir. But it is true that God moves in mysterious ways. This happens in our life all the time. (How did we end up in Ohio after living in Indiana, Michigan, and Illinois?) Wait for God. He knows who the best spouse is for you and the timing of it too.

Category: Suitable Mate

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