Yesterday I took my dad to see a doctor. Lately I’ve been doing that a lot. He likes me to come for support, and since I am a nurse, I have some useful knowledge about the things he is going through. I like to go to make sure he is getting the best possible care. Crystal was with me yesterday. The three of us had a nice lunch together; and then Crystal stayed at the nearby library when I took dad to the Dr. A library for Crystal is like a second home. After his appointment we picked up Crystal and went back to his place for a short time before our sixty mile trip back to our home.
During my time with dad, he shared something which made me think. He is ninety-two years old. Until we lost mom a little over a year ago, he never considered himself old. With mom he had a purpose, a constant companion, and a focus outside of himself. Now, more than ever he is painfully aware of every ache and pain and of his diminishing abilities. Crystal, I and our whole family do whatever we can to fill that void. Dad is always appreciative. It can’t be enough. It’s like part of him is missing. No matter how frail mom got near the end, together there was a strength that goes beyond reason. Now that is gone.
There is still a reason for dad to be here. I am convinced that as long as we live, God has a purpose for us, whether it is just to give an example to your children and grandchildren, or to impart wisdom and knowledge to others, or as an opportunity for others to serve. I believe, on some level, he understands that. The problem is, and I consider this love’s curse, love doesn’t die when we do. It is kept alive by those left behind.
Crystal’s Corner
I am really glad that it is spring. Now you see the pink and white tulip trees blooming. Our two trees in our front yard have white flowers. We see these beautiful pastel purple trees that look like weeping willows only with light lavender flowers. My few daffodils are up and we have these bluish purple flowers that come back every year and spread. I love flowers which is why I appliqué them on quilts and embroider them on clothing and tablecloths. Spring makes me feel happier and hopeful.
I know Ron has been writing about his father and the loss of his mother. I understand why his father misses Mimi (as we all do), but I also know that they had many good years together. They took many walks near their house in Oak Lawn and saw ducks, cranes, and other birds and many flowers and trees in all seasons. We went to Florida with his Dad this past February and it was amazing. I finally understood many of the things that Mimi told me about how gorgeous Florida is in the winter. It was like leaving cold snowy winter and walking into early summer. I very much enjoyed our trip. I am sure that Mimi was watching us and enjoying it with us.
I made Mimi clothing and presents decorated with flowers and birds. She appreciated them very much. She would observe our decorations in our house whether it be new photos that Ron had taken or new quilts or embroidery that I had made. She also sewed, did needlepoint and embroidery and her house was full of many pictures which we are spreading around the family now.
I miss Mimi. I miss her laughter and her smile and her funny jokes. I miss the way she was with my girls and my grandchildren. She cherished them and they cherished her. I know Ron says in his blog that love never dies and this causes pain for those who are left behind. But I think that the love we have shared with people becomes a part of us. I think when you have been truly loved, you can love more and deeper because of that experience. Sometimes I smell Mimi’s perfume in our house or I hear a joke that I know she would have liked and the love that we shared comes back to me. It is a blessing and I will keep sharing it.