Marriage Memoir by Ron and Crystal Meinstein

Tis again the season for Joy, Peace, and egg nogg that will knock your socks off. At least that’s how my mom made it. And why not. Mimi did, with few exceptions, everything else for Christmas.

My early memories of my favorite time of the year include, thumbing through the three-inch-thick Sears Catalog, and circling the hundred or so toys and sporting supplies I would need to survive the next year. Then there were the trips to the mall with mom. Once we finished the supply and uninteresting present acquisitions, it was time for Santa’s lap and the toy section. I do remember times when she would mysteriously disappear for short periods of time, and return with additional packages. Of course, I had no idea what she was doing, since I knew that Santa would do all of the heavy lifting. 

Then there would be the decorations. There would be days of new displays throughout the house. Of course, dad and I did the hard part. Every year we went out and picked out the tree, strapped it to the roof of the car, brought it home, and attached it to the stand. Somehow dad always wound up having to trim the tree to make it fit the room or the stand.

Once the hard part was done, mom would get to work with tinsel, lights, and ornaments. Then the baking would begin. Mom worked for days on baking the most delectable cookies, pastries, and cakes.

At some point mom locked herself in the dinning room to wrap presents. She told me that Santa just needed a little help. I was certain he would be there to arrange them under the tree. After all mom had set everything up for him. What else did he have to do?

Of course, then there was the food. Mom was an excellent cook, spending hours in the kitchen each Christmas day. We never went hungry. The gifts so carefully wrapped and arranged under the tree took only minutes to unwrap.

Then there was one final tradition. I believe it was 2009 when my mom and I took our last Christmas eve walk the half mile or so, to St Linus Catholic Church for services. It was always cold and snowy. We would walk briskly but, slow to enjoy some of the decorated homes along the way. Somehow the real reason for the season (Jesus’s birth) seemed buried in other more commercial trappings.

But was it really? After years of playing a meager role in assisting my own Mama Claus (Crystal), I can finally see the truth. As Christians, we are to be Jesus’s representatives to a fallen world. We are to serve our fellow man, and give our strength, our time, and our lives in that service. Often, and I’m only going to speak of myself, we fail miserably. But, at Christmas, who better exemplifies that effort than our own Mama Clauses.

So, in summary, while I wish you all a Very Merry Christmas, and Joyful Holiday season, I have two additional wishes. First, don’t forget the reason for the season. Second, give a little extra appreciation to the real hero of the season, Mama Claus. 

T’was  the week after Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, almost comatose.

Months of buying and planning had come to an end, the party is over, and it’s now time to mend.

Piles of boxes and papers to recycling must go, a box from the second floor with shout, look out below.

The children stopped playing with new toys on day two, mom and dad still trapped with them and nothing to do.

The late cold and the snow shouldn’t happen this way, colored lights on the gutters might just stay up till May.

Empty stockings still hung by the chimney with care, lets take them down, no, maybe next year.

A sweater from aunt Martha and a vase from Uncle Nick, an exchange trip to Walmart should take care of things quick.

As mom sips her wine and dad drinks his beers, is it time to start planning the next party New Years?

As the normal finally returns after the Holiday respite, God can just wonder why we never get it right.

            I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been one to celebrate the first Thanksgiving. You might remember, the Pilgrims invited the Native Americans, who had helped them survive, to a meal. That was before infecting them with syphilis, smallpox, measles, mumps, and bubonic plague. Not to mention, it was a few years before forcing them from their homes, and taking their land.

            No for me, and I am sure most 21^st century Americans, it’s an excuse to eat too much, visit with family, and watch football, then pass out from eating too much (not necessarily in that order). My first Thanksgiving memories were of Mimi (mom), cooking for days, way too much food, for the three of us. If the Bears were playing, dad and I managed to squeeze all of our thankfulness and eating into about a fifteen-minute period. We watched, while mom grumbled her thanks, while doing dishes, and stuffing the refrigerator. God, we were soooo spoiled. To a great extent, we still are.

            Just a few things to think of/be grateful for, while we enjoy our birds: roughly 25,000 people die each day from lack of nutrition (9.1 mil. /yr.), 80% of humanity live on < $10/day, billions of people lack adequate clean water and basic sanitation. During the game you might want to think of the 1.6 billion living without any electricity. I’m not going to get into issues like healthcare, safety, security, and especially freedoms which we, for the most part, take for granted.

            Depressing, right. Well, that wasn’t my goal. I just wanted to make certain that no one reading this blog, could get through another Thanksgiving, feeling they don’t have enough for which to be thankful.

            I pray that God continue to bless all of us, and help us to be a blessing to others. Have a great Thanksgiving.

            Of course, for us Christians, we celebrate new life and Jesus. So naturally, we paint and hide eggs. Fortunately, Crystal and I no longer have young kids in the house. I was a great hider. On March 25^th I turned 67. We would probably rediscover eggs in July, based on smell.

            So, a week after us spring chicks (my birthday, along with a few grandkids) are hatched, comes Crystal and my anniversary. Yes, as you might know by now, we were a couple of April fools. This year makes 43 years. What you may not know is that, when we lived in Greensburg, Indiana, some 20 + years ago, we lived next to a very nice family, with another couple of April fools: Crystal and John. That’s right, Crystal and John lived next to Crystal and Ron. They just celebrated their 42^nd anniversary.

            It seems that all of us April fools have girls. They had two, Bridget and Lacy. Growing up, they were good friends with our girls. Along with another couple of girls who lived down the street, our house was always a little on the noisy side. I’m not saying that girls talk a lot…..But they do! To this day, I still don’t get how they can talk at the same time, and still understand each other? But it was a lot of fun.

            So that’s it. This time of year, we have spring birthdays (mine in particular), April Fools couples’ day, and Easter. That is hard to beat. We are all looking forward to our families Easter tradition. We get together at a Greek restaurant, “The Mad Greek”, in Columbus for a great, although non-traditional meal.

Wishing you all a wonderful Easter.

            Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. What’s not to love? There’s bountiful food, family, and football. My wife would add… and there’s a parade. This year, all I can say is…. Bah, Humbug! I made the reservations for Michelle, Alex, and my two wonderful granddaughters, Ayla and Ripley. Liz, Brad and their four progeny, Keylan, Jazmyn, Bradyn, and Elijah were coming. It would be another of our world-famous German Thanksgivings.

            Now it’s on to plan B, or should I say plan C for Corona. Oh, I will still make my sauerbraten, dumplings, red cabbage, etc. But today I cancelled the reservations and Liz’s family will drop by for brief food exchange. But at least we will see them. Our youngest daughter Lisa moved back home last week-end and is now living with us. We do like having her home.

            Maybe there are a few things for which to be thankful. OK, cue Tiny Tim. God bless us every one! I was worried that the change in plans would not be well received. While disappointment could not be hidden, we have a close  and fairly intelligent family,. There is still football, a bounty of food, and we are all healthy. I’ve also heard, there might still be some form of parade. We will undoubtable skype with Michelle and family. We will be warm and cozy in our nice 120-year-old home. And most of all, we all accept that mere time and distance will never diminish our love.        

            If nothing else, this holiday always makes me reflect on the ghost of Thanksgiving past. Growing up, this was a mom day. I remember Mimi waking up at the crack of dawn to begin the cooking ritual. Everything was made that day and from scratch. There were no canned cranberries from mom. She was always an exceptional cook, but this was her gold medal event. Except, possibly for the one time she put oysters in the stuffing, I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t perfect. She made enough food for the army; and there were just three of us. There was generally a short prayer before the gorging began. It was all wonderful. Sadly, as I reflect, dad and I generally spent too little time in appreciation before rushing back to the football game (especially if the Bears were playing).

            Mom seldom complained. She just washed dishes and bagged leftovers. I almost think I enjoyed those more than the first meal. And they lasted for days. I think mom was most thankful for her nice soft bed when it was over.

            I guess that is one more thing I can be thankful for. I had really good parents, and a very comfortable childhood. Today, after preparing a number of holiday meals for my family, I have a little more appreciation for what my parents gave me for all of those years. I was really lucky.

            I guess I still am. I am healthy, have a great family, am generally happy, have many freedoms (not present in other countries), and have more than most people in this world.

            I know this year is a little different, but all of that is temporary. Maybe this is a great time to be thankful, and to be thanking God, that we still have so much. Maybe this is His way of reminding us that we are not really in control, but depend on Him.

            Well, do your best to enjoy not only Thanksgiving, but every day with which you are blessed.

            So, Easter was a little different this year…Right? But kind of like the first Easter, when they put Jesus in the tomb and rolled a rock in front. That was the ultimate social distancing. Hopefully, none of us have gone to those extremes. But like Jesus, our solitude will also be temporary. This too shall pass.

            Did you know that Corona means crown in Latin? You would if you read our last blog. Somehow that seems appropriate for this season.

            This morning I got up early, as usual. Crystal and Lisa slept late, as usual. Lisa is visiting, by the way, for the duration. One of the many blessings of this time, if you choose to see it, is families coming closer together. I put a new battery in the smoke alarm, which was chirping all night. I did the dishes and made crescent rolls for breakfast, fed and petted the cat (she requires a lot of petting).

            Once joined by the girls, we watched a church service at Lisa’s church, and took communion (supplied by our church). Later, we will partake in a traditional ham dinner, with all the fixings, followed by a nice cherry crumb pie and vanilla ice cream.

            Yesterday one of our very nice neighbors gave us some very delicious sweets (pictured below). Unfortunately, they didn’t make it to Easter. All in all, we are doing very well. I hope all of you can say the same.

            One thing which might help, is something when under stress, I do frequently. Remember the other times you were under stress, and how, with God’s help, you got through.

            For me, and Crystal reminded me the other day, I had a horrible job. You know, one of those with a lot of responsibilities, and no appreciation. I was in charge of a waste water treatment plant for an OEM automotive equipment manufacturer. It was Easter Sunday, and we were visiting Crystal’s parents in Cincinnati. Since my boss had been reassigned, I was running the facility by myself. There was no one else who understood the complicated system of piping, valves, or chemical processes involved.

            So, even though I had a rare day off; we were working 10 hr. days six to seven days a week, I had to go to the plant. So, I got up early that Easter morning, drove the ninety miles back to Greenburg, Indiana, and switched the collecting tanks.

            Fortunately, that job didn’t last forever, but it made an excellent story for my interview at my next job, supervising an industrial plant. My new boss was very impressed.

            I’m not bragging. The point is that a lot of the things we go through, both negative and positive can work for the good. So while you meet today’s challenges, do you best to hold you head high, seek the good, and try to be a blessing. Remember, there is always someone who could use some help, a smile, or even some Good News.

Happy Easter 

An Easter Message noticed during a walk at Lake Park in Coshocton, Ohio

I don’t know about you, but taking down the Christmas decorations is not a happy task.  Putting up the decorations can be stressful, especially because before Christmas we have so much to do.  I tried this year to enjoy all of my Christmas activities, like writing our names in the cards, and making the newsletter, fluffing the tree up (Ron assembles and I’m the designated fluffer) and my quilted wall hangings, etc.  My daughter, Lisa, and I made candy and cookies together.  We only burned one tray, which happens pretty much every year.

I tend to put it off taking down the decorations in January (I usually don’t do it on New Year’s Day like a lot of people I know.) as much as possible.  I have several decorations, mostly from Hallmark, that are snowmen that sing and move.  I love those decorations. I am sure Ron is tired of hearing the music from them.  This year I got a Snoopy that dances, and a Gnome that sings “There’s no place like Gnome for the holidays”.  It dances in a circle and is so funny.  I will have real trouble stuffing that in a box to put in our garage.  Sometimes I wonder if the ornaments that are stuffed animals, or dolls, or the snowmen that sing, or teddy bears actually communicate with each other in the garage during the long time between January and December.  What would they say?

Our snowman with snow boy sings a song about the cutting down the Christmas tree. He might say:  “Gee are we back in the garage again?  It was such fun being out on the coffee table for a month.  We could see the beautiful tree with all the lights and toys on it.”

Snowman playing the piano:  “I know.  But didn’t that cat knock you off and pull on you onto the floor a few times?”

First Snowman:  “Yes; that happened, but the lady rescued me and had me sing again.  By the way why didn’t the cat knock you off?”

Piano Snowman:  “She tried and she has mitten paws and teeth, you know, but the lady stopped her in time; and I think she just gave up and pulled a little red stocking off the tree and ran off with it.”

A Teddy bear comments:  “Are you two complaining again?  I just take a long nap in between Christmases.  It works for me.”

Of course this probably isn’t really happening in the garage, but I can imagine that it could.  Well, I am going to stop writing now and make Snoopy and the Gnome dance and sing.  I hope you are having a good day and are enjoying January.  I do leave a few winter decorations up like my quilted wall hanging with the deer, and my snowman wall hanging in the bathroom.   I made both of those; and I like to see them on the cold winter days.  Our cat Ella, denies everything. She doesn’t know anything about those snowmen toys, or the missing red stocking.  She is telling me this while she runs off with one of my white socks in her mouth.

Ron

While I love my wife’s imagination, I really doubt the decorations are sentient. However, they did cause a disagreement. The Snowman and snow boy could only get through about a quarter of their song. Then they stopped. Crystal continued to try over and over again. It drove me nuts. I suggested we get rid of it. Crystal would have none of that. She hates to throw anything out. It’s still a wonderful decoration, she said. I thought, ‘it could decorate the garbage can.’ Eventually, I gave up. OK…the mechanism was completely inaccessible. I used all of my mechanical knowhow. I purposely and forcefully dropped it on the floor. Crystal was amazed when she came down the next morning and the device worked like new. She asked what I did. I told her, just a little engineering trick…….Please don’t tell her.

            Thanksgiving was quite different this year. For the past three or four years we celebrated what our family called German Thanksgiving. Our celebration was combined with dad’s birthday on November 15^th.   Instead of the traditional turkey feast, our family made all of dad’s favorite German dishes including sauerbraten, dumplings, red cabbage,  and of course, chocolate cake, etc. Dad and the rest of our family loved the tradition and the food.

            This year, however, marks almost exactly six months since dad passed. He would have been ninety-nine this last November. Somehow, the tradition didn’t seem as important any more. I miss my dad. I don’t miss the way he was during his last months, but as I remember him when we were both younger. As I told him those last days, I had learned a lot from him through the years, and I am grateful. I believe Crystal and I have passed a lot of our parents’ teachings on to our girls: the importance of honesty, responsibility, and respecting others just to name a few.

            As much as this year brought a feeling of melancholy, it was also a year to give thanks. Our family continues to grow. As we lost dad, Michelle and Alex brought our 7th grandchild, Ripley, into the world.  Our family is really close. The girls are always talking and planning. Sometimes they even include us in  their plans.

            Even though there was no German Thanksgiving it doesn’t sound like I’ll get away unscathed. Everyone’s favorite German meal will come between Christmas and New Year’s. I will once again spend three days marinating over ten pounds of beef for the main course. The girls will, as always, help with some side dishes. We will once again thank God for our many blessings, and enjoy our family fellowship.

            The Bible says “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 2). Sometimes these seasons seem to overlap. Yes, we will remember our parents fondly. Yes, the time of mourning will continue for a season. But, it will not overwhelm our ongoing times of joy. Mom’s old world recipes will be enjoyed for many years to come. Someday, maybe you too can enjoy them. Our family cook book which includes family stories is coming close to completion. Their life stories will also continue, as our memoir is almost ready for the publisher.

            As we enter another Christmas season, be sure to give thanks for all of those in your life who contributed to making you who you are. Look forward with hope and anticipation. Seek peace. And always try to be a blessing to those around you.

God Bless You

Ron and Crystal